Doctors
I basically bloody love doctors. They're mostly drunken perverts, FYI (what i look for in a person). I've known many and been in a relationship with one so here's a summary of my findings.

Best thing found in an arse - a dead rodent. Couldn't tell what kind of rodent due to the level of decay, however it had a tail before it came off in Docs hand. Obviously the guy had 'no idea' how it got up there. Sure...

What happens while you're under anesthetic - basically there is rarely a time where only one person is in the operating room, so generally you prob won't get touched up. There are exceptions to this rule though...just don't expect to definitely NOT get violated. Personally last operation i had my knickers take themselves off while i was knocked out. Nice.

Med students - pissheads who definitely DO take body parts with them on nights out. I've met people who have, not a 'friend of friend' story. It happened. I'm not 100% if a whole dressed up body was taken out to a pub, that source is a bit shaky, but apparently those students got kicked out of uni...

Med graduates - some Aussie docs used to go out and get horrendously squiffy, get home at stupid-o-clock, insert IV drips into each other and go to sleep before being on duty at 8am. It re-hydrated them while they slept however they did have arms like a skag addicts due to several drunken, botched attempts at getting the line in.

My fave doctor related story - when an old, well respected surgeon was operating and his scrubs (trousers) fell down. Due to his hands being sterile and occupied trying not to blind someone, he was unable to pull them up. The nurses etc were trying desperately to hold it together, the surgeon is desperately trying to convince one of the nurses to pull his scrubs back up, however none of them really want to go near him. You see, that day, he wasn't wearing underpants. Yes, he had to stand there and finish what he was doing with his cock hanging out. Class.

Love doctors.
(cheerymaddox 'Quite cute when not talking', Mon 15 Mar 2010, 19:21, 4 replies)

The drips thing works quite well, and we've had long arguments about precisely which IV fluid will rehydrate you best (my money is on Voluplex, incidentally).

Although a friend of mine once tried it - cannulated, plumbed in a bag of Normal Saline and left the bag on top of the shelf next to his bed.

Next morning: disaster. He feels like death warmed up and looks down to see that he has tugged the bag off its shelf and onto the floor, where it now sits containing roughly half a litre of his blood. Ooops...
(Dave the Explosive Newt, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 20:45, closed)

That reminds me...
The dentist who took my wisdom teeth out (I elected to be under general anesthesia) was later caught touching some young patient while he operated on her. Then a few other staff came forward and said they had seen suspicious things too. I'd rather not know if I was one of those girls!
(Tarana, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 21:17, closed)

My uncle...
...who is the head cheese at a hospital in The States had to throw a med student off course (or whatever) because he was caught skipping rope with intestines.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 9:43, closed)

The rodent up arse thing
is debunked by Snopes.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 23:56, closed)