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This is a question Messing with people's heads

Theophilous Thunderwulf says: What have you done to fuck with people? Was it a long, carefully planned piece of psychological warfare, or do you favour quick, off-the-cuff comments that confuse the terminally gullible? Have you been dicked with, and only realised many years later? Are you being dicked right now? Tell us everything.

(, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 11:25)
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An American came to visit
Many years back, I was part of a volunteering group, who were close-knit socially and tended to hang out a lot. One summer, an eager American college student who was a pen friend of one of us came to stay. We welcomed the gushing, grinning lad and took turns in hosting him. He said he wanted to learn all about British culture, so we convinced him that:

* Poking your head out of a car window with a yell of "Wanker!" is a chirpy British greeting.

* Welsh people are called "Whalies" and their currency is "Whale coin". We got him to pop into a bank on the way to Wales to change £40 into whale coin so he'd have some spends. (He was in there a good while before re-emerging, scratching his head and protesting about the manager.)

* The traditional British breakfast is fried bread butties. We had him grinning like a loon while frying hunks of bread, sandwiching between two dry slices and serving them up to bemused guests.

* People playing guitars in subways etc. are immigration agents who work for the police, and they'll arrest anybody with a non-British accent. When seeing them, approach them first, announce your name and country of residence and show them all your papers.

* If striking up conversation with strangers (e.g. on a bus), a good, safe and neutral topic is farts.

...plus other stuff I can't remember. He took it in good spirit, when he eventually sussed us out.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 9:41, 5 replies)
He went home and told everyone he knew (all a couple of hundred million of them) that all poms were cunts.
That's why your tourism industry is up the shitter.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 10:04, closed)
No, he had a sense of humour and though embarrassed, laughed about it

(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 10:15, closed)
A school friend of my brother's
went to France for his gap year to pick up the lingo. In returned for teaching him how to talk French proper, like what they does, his hosts asked him to teach them some English phrases.

I wonder to this day what reaction the Frenchies got when greeting British people with a cheery "Good morning, you wanker."
(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 11:00, closed)
On the subject of France,
just using one term all the time we were there. Points were awarded on annoyance/bemused value.
I don't know the exact spelling, the phrase was "Monsieur, tu a la tete d'un pomme de terre".
Sir, you have the head of a potato. Cringeworthy now, at the time it amused our simple braincells.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 11:53, closed)
My nipples explode with delight!

(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 22:52, closed)

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