You're him aren't you?
I have been mistaken for two minor celebrities.

(1) When I had long blond hair in a ponytail, people claimed I looked like that bloke out of the Commitments; you know, the dog-ugly soot-toothed porker. Once, I even got asked for an autograph. I told them to fuck off. Still, it had its compensations. I knew I was in luck when I returned to my ex-girlfriend's flat for the first time and found a big Commitments poster. She actually had a crush on the foul-faced tinker! On the other hand, that relationship ended particularly badly and left me with crippling emotional problems that persist to this day. So I wish she hadn't seen the resemblance at all.

(2) In order to prevent such problems in the future, I shaved off all my hair with a razor. I enjoyed the look until Shooting Stars became popular, and I got constant refrains of "What are the scores, George Dawes?" whenever I braved to venture out in public. One incredibly drunk idiot in a pub once tried it on with me, thinking I was Matt Lucas - who, it turned out, did live nearby.

The moral of the story? Fat people all look like each other. It's just the hair that's different.
(budddwyer This thing will hurt someone, Thu 31 May 2007, 20:07, Reply)