Tell me what you want, what you really, really want...
I've been saving this. Absolutely my last ex-wife story ever:

Ex-Mrs PJM was (and is) best described as being short, loud, busty and blonde. That in itself is by no means unique, but when we first started dating in 1997, the blonde was accentuated with red/brown streaks and she was rarely if ever without her favorite pair of platform trainers. You can probably see where this is going, but on more than one occasion when she was made up for a night out it would seem the only thing she was missing to complete the ensemble was a Union Flag dress.

Her resemblance to a certain Spice Girl was an annoyance to her (and probably justifiably so), but I have seen people stop in their tracks and double take as she walked past quietly (and believe you me, she rarely did anything at less than 110 decibels) fuming.

I recall her being amusingly put out one afternoon when walking through the town, when a small child stopped, pointed at ex-Mrs PJM and said loudly "Mummy, mummy it's HER!".

[edit] To be fair, she could sing more tunefully than the immensely annoying and spectacularly untalented la Halliwell, but then so can I when I have caught my genitals in my zip.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 Jun 2007, 0:10, Reply)