Oh OK...
I work with a bunch of guys who really aren't happy until they can think of someone you look vaguely like, then give you that person's name as a nickname.
I don't particularly look like anyone so for years I've managed to get away with being just me while Jerry (Seinfeld), Chopper (Read), Braithe (Anasta, a very obscure footballer in Australia), Diggler (as in Dirk) etc etc live their pathetic lives swaggering about the office slapping each other on the back, discussing rugby league and generally wondering why they have no luck whatsoever with the ladies.
Recently however, the leader of their sad pack decided he'd call me Elliot, as in Elliot Goblet, the goatee and glasses wearing comic. This was I'd decided to not shave that day and had what could if you squinted, be mistaken for a goatee.
Elliot Goblet, it should be pointed out, is about as funny as cancer and as ugly as a hatful of arseholes so this was NOT a name I wanted to be stuck with.
"Ha! With that van dyke beard you look like Elliot Goblet!" he announced, "Hey Elliot, how's it going!"
"And you, with your bald melon, piss poor dress sense, bad smell and giant beer gut, look like Shrek," I replied in a rare moment of having the right thing to say at the right time, "Hey Shrek, how's it going!"
Funnily enough he's gone back to using my real name and I've never used Shrek again.
It's the office version of mutually assured destruction.
( difficultchild, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 2:22, Reply)