Ah, good old Biff
Biff was, indeed, a legend, and sorely missed.

Here’s his finest moment (sung to the tune of Vincent – you know, starry, starry night)

Skidded on some shite,
Banged me heed when ah fell doon
Ah’d been drinkin on the Toon,
Ah couldn’t see me cat boots for the mist

Must’ve been quite pissed

Ah didn’t even see the shite
That dark and misty twatful night,
When aal at once ah’m lyin on the ground

And ah broke my hand
Several stitches in me knee
Banged me heed off a fuckin tree
Just before ah hit the path
Well ah bent my glasses and smashed me watch
But ah couldn’t help but laugh

Skidded on some shite,
Me leather coat was thick o’ pap,
I even had some on me cap,
The worst scenario that I could pick

That’s when ah wuz sick

Me teeth got caught up in the spew
Next thing ah knew out they flew
To hide amongst the undergrowth so thick…

And ah broke my hand
Several stitches in me knee
Banged me heed off a fuckin tree
Just before ah hit the path
Well ah bent my glasses and smashed me watch
But ah couldn’t help but laugh

Isn’t life a bastard
When ya plastered in shite?
And if it wasn’t for my plight
On this misty twatful night,
I’d now be home tucked up and in my bed

But I’m seven miles from Pegswood
Ah stink of shit, it’s foggy
And ahm walking home instead

What a twatful night…
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Feb 2008, 17:05, Reply)