Oh dear oh dear :(
Last year I had quite an infatuation with a barmaid working across the road. I never gave her any reason to believe that I was obsessing over her, in fact I was showing the exact opposite even though I had a crush on her for almost a year. A few people told me not to even bother as she was apparently "self centred and stuck up", but I wasn't prepared to believe this 2nd hand information, it's always best to find out for yourself.

Anyway, I DJ for a hobby and one day I decided to do a mix just for her, consisting primarily of uplifting house, the mix basically says "I wanna fuck you", but it was done with a bit of innocence, honestly!

You can have a listen here...

It's become one of my favourite mixes, but anyway, to the point. About a month after doing it I still hadn't even given it to her as I just turned into a car crash every time I went to talk to her, one day I eventually cracked and sent her a fucking huge bunch of flowers with my mobile number... Things didn't really go according to plan...

The morning on delivery of said flowers I was doing some house work and missed my phone, the second I noticed that I had an answerphone message I checked to have a listen. I couldn't really work out what she was saying be something along the lines of,

"Thanks for the flowers ... *girls giggling then shouting* ... fuck off"

I didn't really know what to make of it so I called her number, heart thumping away. She didn't let me speak she just said

"I said I was interested, not that interested."

Then hung up, which was nice of her! And also mighty confusing of her. I spent most of that day feeling sorry for myself and getting shit faced in random locations until I could build up the bollocks to go to the pub. I eventually got around to it at about 6pm. She had stopped working there for the day but noone actually knew who the flowers were from, until I spoke to another barmaid.

Anyway, it turned out some other twat called Nick had claimed that the flowers were from him! Cheeky bastard! I ended up sending a few texts, and getting a few replies from her which cleared up the confusion and I asked her if I could give her the CD that I had done during the week, she said yes and seemed cool about it.

The day I went to give it to her she completely snubbed me and stuck her nose up, refused to serve me as if I was diseased or something. I got the barman to give her the CD in the end and decided to not put any more "effort" into her...

Coincidently enough I have thought of her a few times this week (wondering what she is upto these days, not whilst masturbating), and I'd still give her a mighty portion if she so wished ;-)
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 16:43, Reply)