T'was the night before before Xmas
and the jolly bosses at work had laid on a free bar at a council pub over the road. With me working in my home town and with Xmas being the season for giving I invited a few of my mates to come along and I'd go to the bar and furnish them all with free booze.

Everything went according to plan until the free bar was running out and we decided to go to one of the other many council pubs in the area. The only problem was I was in full work regalia (shirt and tie) so needed to get home, changed and out again faster than MJs final heartbeats.

I had the idea of calling mother (I was a wee slip of a lad at the time) and get her to do the necessary ironing so I could head straight back out on the razzle dazzle. Full of booze and eager to make my mates/work colleagues laugh, after I'd made the arrangements with mother and she'd hung up I said "And then I'm going to put my shirt on and shoehorn one right up your arse".

She hadn't hung up.

I went bright red.

My shirt was immaculately ironed.
(Elmintrude has lumps of it round the back, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 16:34, 2 replies)

I feel your pain
I done the excact same thing but with the words stupid and cunt
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 16:41, closed)

Click for you
Purely for the Jacko reference
( unsey a frizzy haired fruit since, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 13:38, closed)