Dog's dinner
When I was 15 I was at my friends house for dinner. In full view through the window, we could see the family dog do a shit in the garden and then subsequently eat it.

The dog quickly ran back into the house and vomited up its own shit next to us onto the carpet whilst we were still eating.

The resulting vomity/shit stench was unlike anything I've had the misfortune of witnessing before or since.

I couldn't finish my dinner.
(l0bst3r, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:04, 7 replies)

Fucking Hell.
Great dog.
( Ken Oath, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:11, closed)

When my dog was a puppy
I took him round a mates house who had a cat

I heard him crunching on something..turned out it was cat litter.

The cat litter that had stuck to the cat shit in the litter tray.

He doesn't eat shit anymore thank god
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:26, closed)

We were canoeing
and Ma had to relieve herself in the bush. The dog came bounding out a few minutes later. I was too young to be acquainted with the term 'shit seating grin' but I knew it then.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:37, closed)

This is why I can never understand why people let dogs lick their faces.
I watched my own dog munch down a fresh, sloppy turd (not her own), once. Utterly stomach turning.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:52, closed)

I used to have to constantly remind my niece that while letting the cat lick her face
she was having used toilet paper rubbed in her face.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 23:24, closed)

A roasted pea.
This beach has gone to the dogs.
In my yoof I had a dog called Brick. She was called thus because "2 Short Planks" just seemed cruel. You get the gist.

At the time I lived with my mum whilst going to boarding school. She lived south of Perth, about a block from the beach - so school hols. were always down the beach. Surfing, swimming, drinking & walking the dog.

For some reason some members of the public felt it necessary to relive themselves of a kilo (probably only a few hundred grams but this is qotw) or so of bodily waste in the dunes behind the beach.
For some other reason dogs seemed to find this effluent particularly attractive as an eau de cologne. & would roll in it much the way you or I might dab or pat some toilet water upon ourselves.

Then they would come to seek out their masters or mistresses to avail them of this striking new scent that they had discovered. Often their owners would only discover this new attractant once said puppy was at patting/bounding up onto distance.
Brick used to regularly not enjoy a swim in the ocean before returning home.

Moral of the story - don't shit where you beach, doggone it!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 1 Feb 2013, 23:27, closed)

Fucking savages, you lot.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 10:40, closed)