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This is a question Morning After Souvenirs

I once woke up in a tent after a particularly drunken holiday pub crawl, clutching a tap. There's a drowned, sunken village somewhere in Wales because of my act of petty theft, but I cannot remember. Tell us what - or who - you've brought back from nights out.

(Suggested by Bicycle Repairman)

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 13:44)
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A friend of mine (honest)
Woke up in the morning after a heavy night. Felt a bit sticky 'downstairs'. He thought 'Oh my God, I've shat myself'.

With trepidation, he peeled back the duvet, and glanced down. It wasn't shit. It was a mixture of garlic sauce, donner meat, and shredded lettuce smeared all over his lower torso and genitals. To one side, a sad looking, torn up pitta bread.

He'd had sex with a kebab.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:58, 11 replies)
We have a winner.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:07, closed)
Did he heat and eat it later?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:11, closed)
Would have been a bit salty...

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:12, closed)

That wasn't garlic sauce....*click*
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:19, closed)
Was it badly packed?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:39, closed)

It was by the time he'd finished with it!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:43, closed)
Just a thought
...but were any fat birds missing from the locality after this evening?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:52, closed)
...laughing like an mental.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:44, closed)
Lucky he didn't prefer chili sauce.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 16:29, closed)
However I take issue with the obvious lie here.

No living human would ever admit to someone they knew that they had had sex with a kebab.

Therefore, this story is about you, AICMFP.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:50, closed)
He was a friend who suffered from a surfeit of honesty, so I'm aware of pretty much all of his sexual misdeeds.

I can understand why you might think it was me though, but it isn't.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 10:54, closed)

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