Petty Crime
Skating in Birmingham City Centre with my ex-girlfriends brother a few years ago, (under the steps of the Rep theatre for those that know it), we decided to get some munchies after our mid afternoon doobie snack.

So we went to the nearest fast food den,which happened to be a Subway, and got ourselves 12inches of the sweetest chicken teriyaki. After getting back to our spot under the steps, a guy approached us asking if we had the time. As my skating accomplace reached in his pocket to get his phone, the guy lunged at him and pinned him against the wall. I pulled him off my mate, who then proceeded to right hook him, landing a shot on his lip.

His lip sprayed blood as his head turned, in a typical Rocky slow motion punch. He span round, then sat down in front of us holding back the tears (this guy was about 30), then stood up slowly, reached in his back pocket and pulled out a few rolled up Big Issues, and pleaded with us to buy some. When we refused, and rightfully told him to fuck off, he grabbed the foot long Subway from my mate and took a big bite of it. Only to have three of his teeth disappear with the first bite.

After handing it back to us, we stared in disbelief at the what he'd just done, and the bloodied, toothy chicken baguette in my mates hand. As we lifted our boards to deck him, he apologised, and handed over an eight of what we later found out was some of the strongest skunk we'd ever smoked.

He's now one of the many 'locals' to the city centre, and has become a valued person to know. So if your ever in Brum, and see a Big Issue seller with a ratty ponytail and three of his front teeth missing, say hi to Rob for me.
(join my cult, Fri 16 Jun 2006, 12:03, Reply)