Truest Story Ever
I was walking around in Los Angeles one night having drunk eighty-seven bottles of beer and eaten a whole bowlful of acid, so I was very slightly tipsy. I had a million dollars stored in my crotch but as I am nine foot eight and weight over seven hundred pounds I wasn't that concerned. Lo and behold these twenty guys appear out of an alleyway and demand that I hand over my money "or else!" I was all like "ssshyeah, right!" and I just kept walking and one of them shot me in the head with a gun. I guess it was the adrenaline or something because I didn't feel it, and just kept walking with my brains hanging out the front of my face like the stuffing from your daughter's favourite teddy bear because you ripped a hole in it because your wife left you. Then I flew backwards through time and killed all those guys before they were even born.
(The Turgid Dahlia, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 5:21, Reply)