three-nil!
This happened maybe a year and a half ago, whilst I was still in High School. The High School that I attended was a notorious chav pit, indeed, a friends mother (who works in reception there) told us that five of the girls currently attending the fifth year are pregnant.

Anyway, it was in my own fifth year, and I was standing in 'Mosher Corner' with my fellow non-chavs (about 30 of us in total, out of about 1,000 students) including one of my friends who isn't too bright, but is bloody strong. His name is Mike.

A group of about 50 chavs walk up to us, and all the little ones in first year start shouting general abuse at us. We ignore them, and they gradually get closer and closer. Eventually, some of the little ones are abotu a yard away, and one turns to Mike and says, "I fucked your sister."

Mike doesn't even have a sister, but that didn't stop him giving the little bastard a swift kick to the balls. Little chav goes down.

Mike 1, Chavs 0

Then, the older chavs, some of the ones in our own year start making their way towards us, with general shouts of, "Pick on someone your own size!" and words to that effect. One of them takes a swing for Mike, which he deftly avoids, and he (Mike that is) says,
"I don't want to fight you."
"Too bloody right you don't!" replies the chav, swinging again. Mike decides that this isn't the time for negotiating, and before the chavs fist completes its ark, he leans forward and nuts the chav in the nose. Chav goes down, with a broken nose.

Mike 2, Chavs 0

Later on, on the way home, I was lucky enough to be walking with Mike, as we'd both been kept back after school, Mike for fighting, and myself for witnessing.

As we walked, a car pulls up beside us with its window rolled down.
"Are you the guy who nutted my brother?" demands the chav inside.
"Yeah." replies Mike.
"Right," says the chav (and here's where the mugging comes in), "give me your phone, or i'll bang you out*."
"Fuck you." says Mike. Now the chav gets out of his car, and takes steps towards myself and Mike. Mike punches the chav in the stomach, and knees him in the face. He then grabs the chav, turns him round to face his car again, and forces him halfway through the open window.

Mike 3, Chavs 0

You may, or may not, have noticed that I don't actually do a lot in this tale. I generally don't. Mainly it's cowardice; partly it's the fact that I hang out with Mike, so I don't particularly need to.

This brings me to the conclusion of the story. Final score: Mike 3, Chavs 0.

Apologies for length and whatnot.

*'Bang you out' is chavish for 'cause you bodily harm'
(tero if I had a website, this is where I would plug it, Wed 21 Jun 2006, 21:06, Reply)