One pleasant evening many years ago
I was walking along Upper Street opposite the Union Chapel in Islington, and cycling towards me was a boy who can't have been more than three years old, on a little bike with training wheels, his mother walking a few metres behind him. He looked like he was enjoying his bike ride, right up to the point where the camber of the pavement got the better of him and he toppled off, rolling down a couple of steps to land on his back like an upturned turtle in the gutter, arms and legs flailing with his head directly under the front wheel of a refuse lorry that was being revved ominously and appeared about to set off.

It would have been splat, basically.

I ran down the steps, frantically waving and shouting at the driver who somehow remained oblivious to any of this, and I grabbed the kid from under the wheel just as his screaming mother arrived to snatch him from me. As she held him, making sure he was alright and showering him with kisses, I said something like 'bloody hell, that was close - glad he's ok", but she was too preoccupied to hear me, so I carried on my way feeling a little rattled.

A minute or two later I heard a "Hey mate!" and turned to see some bloke running up to me.

"Excellent!" he said, "I saw what happened there and I just wanted to say that what you did was brilliant."

"Oh, it was nothing really, anyone would have done it," I replied, using the standard English format.

"No, I just wanted to tell you that because she thinks it was you that knocked him off his bike."

I carried on walking.
(Haywood Manley, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:02, 8 replies)

Haaaaaaaaaahahahahaha! Winnar!
Bloody cyclists on pavements.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:14, closed)

Yeah, great, he's going to grow up to be a cyclist.
Well done, you fucking prick. Don't interfere with Darwinism.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:20, closed)

^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:27, closed)

Good point,
I should've just left him and slung his bike in the back of the wagon.
(Haywood Manley, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:35, closed)

Never underestimate
the ability of a mother to find a man to blame.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 13 May 2013, 15:11, closed)

You idiot.
You let them get squashed then comfort the mother. Then offer to help make a new one. Bow chicka wow.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:35, closed)

It's comments like these that remind us
Of how little human company you actually have.....
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Tue 14 May 2013, 10:53, closed)

:D

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 May 2013, 14:11, closed)