Nativity PlaysEvery year the little kids at schools all over get to put on a play. Often it's christmas themed, but the key thing is that everyone gets a part, whether it's Snowflake #12 or Mary or Grendel (yes, really).
Personally I played a 'Rich Husband' who refused to buy matches from some scabby street urchin. Never did see her again...
Who or what did you get to be? And what did you have to wear?
(
chthonic, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:45)
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I only really "performed" once in a nativity...While in the Sixth Form I was a member of the school’s technical team. Five of us in the team – me, my partner Hannah, her identical twin sister Kate and my mates Ian and Dave. As a part of its “Reaching out to the Community” scheme the school had, the technical team was pimped out to various local primary schools. Over a two week period the five of us ended up seeing 23 and a half nativity plays in our mini-tour, running two sets of equipment to illuminate and amplify the shrieks of the little darlings.
My average day would be:
6.45 Pick up the second and occasionally third members of the team I was working with that day
7.00 Arrive at primary school to find it locked. Caretaker has forgotten that we’re arriving. Play hopscotch in playground.
7.10 Speak to police that little old lady has called after seeing us playing hopscotch. Have a chat and a cup of tea, discuss the school and find out whose kids are performing where.
8.00 Caretaker arrives to open school. Begin unloading several thousands of pounds worth of (rented) lighting and sound and sound equipment.
8.30 Find an SUV parked in frond of our van (actually one of the Sixth Form’s minibuses) as Mrs Horrobleigh has parked in the teachers car park to discuss why little Jimmy isn’t being pushed hard enough to do his Latin GCSE in year 6. Unable to get any equipment out, so go and have a cup of tea.
9.00 SUV still parked in front of van. Attempt to locate parent.
9.15 After arguing with parent, use the powers of persuasion to point out that we’ll be lighting little brat so his home made organic hemp goat costume will outshine all the other parents feeble efforts.
9.30 Unloading finally complete. Begin setup. Attempt not to hit kids with scaffolding.
10.00 Shout at tenth child who’s running under where we’re setting up the equipment. Ponder converting one of the moving lights in to a kid-seeking taser.
10.13 Teacher asks when we’ll be ready. Is told at about 11.00.
10.22 Same teacher asks again. Is given same answer. Mentally adjust designs to modify taser to teacher seeking.
10.50 Teacher brings children in to the hall where we’re still hanging lanterns. Is politely asked to take them away because I don’t fancy cleaning up the blood.
11.00. Finished setup of a temporary scaffolding, holding all the required lighting and sound equipment, a curtained off control booth and some inventive wiring to power it all from 13amp sockets. Prays there are no health and safety people around.
11.20 After cajoling the children on to the stage, we turn all the lights on them at full power. Despite being told not to, they’re all looking straight at the lights. The screams of blinded children never fail to amuse.
11.23 Clean up urine puddles from above.
11.30 Start a rehearsal. Screaming fit from Mary when Joseph pulls her hair.
13.00 Lunch. Cook a couple of pizza’s on the lanterns.
14.00 Hyperactive kids come in for a “dress rehearsal”. A second screaming fit from Mary when she’s told she won’t be allowed to do a spotlight solo.
15.30 Kids go home, and we go to the pub to relax over a couple of pint of Wychwood’s finest.
18.00 Arrive back at the school to do final checks for the show.
18.30 Parents arrive with children. Explain to parent that they cannot film the play from the box.
18.40 Tell 18th parent that we will not be recording all the singing for them.
19.00 Show starts. Three children led off in tears at the start.
19.20 Baby Jesus’ head falls off. Mary cries.
19.30 Show finally over, with a big song and dance number lead by the tap dancing cows.
20.00 Finally get parents out of the hall, after several complaints that the lights were too bright for the video cameras to compensate.
22.00 Get kit packed up and in van. Home to sleep and repeat the next day.
To make up for the above, I’ll give you tale from the very last show. It was in local church and two of the primary schools had combined the forces of their year sixes to put on a big performance. This needed the whole team, as this tour de force needed set changes, so I was going to be stuck back stage instead of my usual position in the lighting desk. Hannah volunteered to help me, hiding in a small alcove at the side of the stage, ready to dash out and perform the scenery changes at the pivotal moments. Being in such close quarters made for some intense making out moment.
Come the show, she joined me in our little cubbyhole just before the show started, crouching down next to me. Once the show had started, I made my move. My hand gently brushed her thigh, stroking the fine weave of her tights and feeling the warmth of her skin beneath. Unable to make any noise, a quickening of breathing and a smile in the dim reflected light were my only indications that my attention as appreciated. My hand moved further, stroking the fleshy underside of her leg through the nylon material. Sliding gently over her buttocks as the chorus sprang in to a chorus of “O little star of Bethlehem”, an exhalation of warm breath flowed past my ear. My finger slipped through a hole in the crotch of her tights, moving aside the silk that guarded the fragrant and moist areas that lead to her little button of pleasure. A few minutes more and that song will forever remain in my head as a the warm wetness flowed over my finger.
Sadly the song ended at that point, and our first scene change was upon us. I reluctantly withdrew my probing digits, and got up to begin the change. As I moved behind the curtain, I caught a glimpse of the control desk, Hannah sitting there staring intently at the stage for her cue.
Hang on. Hannah. At the control desk. Wearing trousers. Hannah never wore skirts during shows… only Kate did. Shit. Shit shit shit. Oh holy crap. I’ve just gotten to second base with my girlfriends twin sister. In a church. Oh shit.
I’m not sure how I made it through the show, but I managed to find an excuse to be on the other side of the stage all the night. I had to be practically dragged to pub after; I felt I couldn’t show my face to either. Kate said nothing though, although she did look at me with an odd smile throughout the evening. I had to spill all after – how could I not? I asked her if she wanted to split - I wondered how our relationship could continue after this, I felt awful. As it turned out, it wasn’t a problem. A lot of twins were close, and these two were even closer. But that’s for another QOTW….
(, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 13:16, 2 replies)
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