Lesbians! Motorbikes! Flags! Accordians!
Back in the days of student-dom, Lady Doom lived with a group of her mates on a relatively quiet road in Peckham. Aside from the odd party, they generally kept themselves to themselves and did nothing to disturb the neighbours.

Just as well really as the neighbours were rather disturbing.

The house next door was shared by three women of a certain age, which immediately made everyone suspect a little bit. We all knew pretty quickly though...

There was a large object under a tarpaulin in their front garden. It was well tied down so it was hard to make out what lay underneath, but there were funny shapes poking out at all angles underneath it. Come the day of the Pride march in Brighton and off came to the tarp to the sight of a gleaming Harley Davidson and sidecar, complete with enormous rainbow flag the size of Dawn French's parachute on the back, looking like the biggest, campest take on Easy Rider you've ever seen. It was a slice of technicolour mechanical excellence, thrumming away in the heart of South London.

From that point on, everyone, myself included started to take a lot more notice of next door, not entirely by choice. The well-to-do, middle class, future lecturer of Lady Doom's houseshare happened to have her family visiting her (they probably thought a visit to Peckham was an excellent opportunity for some anthropological field work). As they were standing in a cramped bedroom admiring the authentic African masks on the wall, the youngest sister noticed something odd out of the window. Something odd next door. Through the window, the whole family could see a naked, middle aged woman doing some kind of wibbly, saggy, tribal dance. This spectacle was greeted by a saggy arse blocking the view, then joining in with the dance... Sadly, a rather flushed student swooshed her curtains closed at this point so I have no idea what happened after the saggy dancing...

The final oddity came near the end of the year. Returning from lectures, one of the housemates spotted something on the pavement outside Sapphic House - an accordian! Being the dutiful student, and spying something for free, she carted it back into her own kitchen to examine further, with a little help from the rest of the group and myself. Being a musician, the instrument was despatched in my direction for testing. Gathering up the beatiful grey pearled antique, I opened up the bellows, picked a few notes to start with and WOOOMPH!

A cloud of dark green powder errupted from the thing. Taking a few moments to register what had happened, I then realised it smelt... it smelt of... rotten fish. A kitchen engulfed in dark green rotten fish powder ensured that the butch dancing lesbians accordian found its way back onto the street pronto. And that's a sentence I never thought I'd be writing....
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Sat 3 Oct 2009, 9:33, 3 replies)

"the size of Dawn French's parachute"
Ha!
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 4 Oct 2009, 2:38, closed)

FFS ...
have a click for the bloody title alone.
(Que?, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 5:26, closed)

bonkers

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 16:52, closed)