My Car!
My car, it's pure evil. It's not the newest car in the world, and it is a Vauxhall, but I look after it and get it serviced but that's never enough for it. Every time I save up some money, for a new telly for instance, it senses and deliberately breaks an expensive pars.

Worse it always does it at the worst time: half 11 at night at Liverpool airport, knackered after a day trip to Ireland? Perfect time to have the oil pump disintegrate and come within inches of destroying the cam belt! Even better a 2 hour tow back to North Wales.

Taking your misses to a job interview? Alternator goes and no car for you.

Giving your friends a lift to look a wedding interview and running late? Why not snap a suspension coil and ruin the CV joints at the same time.

It even let's me think I've fixed something myself with the Hayne's manual, by not having a fault any more, waits until I've told people I fixed it, then breaks down this morning with a faulty starter.

It even waited until last week's question closed before doing it! It's evil, pure evil!

First post please don't eat me!
(jbradshawbangor, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:56, 8 replies)

Would ayone here do such a thing?
*eats*
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:00, closed)

delicious
*burps heartily*
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:57, closed)

i won't eat you
i might lick, chew and nibble slightly, but i won't eat you
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 May 2010, 19:13, closed)

"And it is a Vauxhall"
makes it all your fault for buying it in the first place. Before we knew better, my wife & I owned four Vauxhalls between us. Every single one conspired in some way to piss us off - bar one.
That was a 1989 Astra SRi that I ran for 18 months and p/xed for only 250 less than I paid for it from a dealer.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 4 May 2010, 19:59, closed)

My current banger is a 10 year-old Clio
which came with a pile of garage receipts. It's had just about everything replaced, including the windscreen. I bet someone was glad to see the back of it!

Given me no trouble so far, though.

*hopes car isn't listening*
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 5 May 2010, 8:17, closed)

I had a succession of Vauxhalls which were all fine
until I inherited my dad's Vectra.

What a hulking heap of shite that was. When it was in for a service I was told that I would need to come back in between 35000 and 40000 miles for the timing belt to be replaced.

At 34149 miles the time belt went, completely fecking the engine and requiring £952 worth of repairs. That was the low point in a string of issues with it.

I got rid of it shortly afterwards, bought a Mazda 3 Sport, and never looked back - touch wood. I'd never go back to a Vaxuhall now.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 5 May 2010, 10:12, closed)

I'm not a driver, so I may be wrong
But I think your car might be knackered.
(feckoffmeow, Wed 5 May 2010, 11:19, closed)

You are all quite right it is my fault for having a Vauxhall, and it is knackered. I think its real plan is to mkae me set it on fire and roll it into the sea so it can have a viking funeral, but that I get caught doing it and in its dying moments it can watch me being taken off in the back of a police Astra!
(jbradshawbangor, Wed 5 May 2010, 16:50, closed)