I got a job as a graphic designer at a little printing company
The first thing I was told by the other graphic designer was that out of the eight people in the company, four were the family - mum, dad, daughter and her fiancé - and the other four - me, him and the two lads who worked in the print room were basically treated as second-class employees. On the whole it wasn't too bad as I recall - because the parents both smoked I had an ashtray on my desk, we received our pay in cash in brown paper envelopes every week and they didn't mind that the non-family employees spent every Friday lunchtime in the local.

What finished it for me in the end though, was when the daughter came upstairs to the little room where I worked and said that she'd decided that we were to wear uniforms. Now I wasn't averse to this and I had a collection of name-tags and branded polo shirts from working in all manner of retail positions and the like, but when she handed my my "uniform" I initially thought she was joking. She'd found a bunch of old sweatshirts printed with the company's logo in a cupboard that looked like they'd been there since the mid-eighties and she proudly presented me with mine. It was originally yellow but filthy, with stained tide marks around the neck and cuffs - which were so tight they nearly cut off my circulation and finished just below my elbow in any case - and it was too short in the body, presumably because the previous occupant had a magnificent rack as the indentations of two breasts were still clearly embedded into the fabric.

I tried it on and I looked ridiculous. I said I wasn't wearing that. She said I had to wear a uniform, so I said I'd wear anything that fit and didn't already have someone else's tits moulded into it. She went to her father, who told me I had to wear the shirt if I still wanted a job. I told him I didn't want the job that much and quit.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 10:50, 13 replies)

a uniform in a position that wasn't public facing?
s'wrong.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 13 Oct 2014, 11:17, closed)

I didn't even bother to argue that point in the end
after it became clear that they weren't going to budge on the yellow sweatshirt it was easier to just walk away
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 12:54, closed)

When I worked in a BT call centre in the 1990s...
... some of the staff wanted to wear what was officially referred to as "image clothing". I reckoned it was most likely because they were too tight to buy decent work clothing and wanted freebie outfits, leaving more cash available for cigarettes and shell suits.

Aside from the fact that they only ever spoke to customers on the phone, what made it even more ridiculous was that we were in Crewe and the customers we dealt with were over 150 miles away in that there London.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 13 Oct 2014, 19:28, closed)

You had an ashtray on your desk?
Living. The. Dream.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 12:40, closed)

This was the 20th Century

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 12:42, closed)

Doesn't make it any less strange a boast.
Or maybe it was so shit a job, and so badly paid, that having an ashtray was the highlight.

Meh. I remember spluttering my way through seminars full of smokers, and I could barely see my examiners during my viva for the smoke in the room. I don't miss those days one bit.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 13:22, closed)

I used to work for a Korean company 20 years ago
There was an ashtray on every desk and a plastic 'spitoon' beaker into which they would regularly cough up phlegm into every 5 minutes or so.

It really was like living the dream back then.
(wrigglesworth, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 14:11, closed)

You should have told them that you sleep with the fan on.
They'd treat you like some kind of god.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 14:36, closed)

If more people smoke at their desks,
we could avert the pensions crisis. emvee is to be commended for his efforts to shorten his lifespan.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 13:39, closed)

We used to have a red fire bucket in the office that was full of sand
this is going back to 1999/2000 when I was an Network Engineer, the only thing that it was ever used for was a makeshift ashtray when we returned to our 4th floor office of a no smoking building after being at the pub all afternoon on a Friday.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Oct 2014, 15:42, closed)

Fuck me you're up your own arse

( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Tue 14 Oct 2014, 12:56, closed)

Something something black trousers, christening, gay, something something

(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Tue 14 Oct 2014, 14:31, closed)

Frankly, I'm a bit disappointed
I thought Badger would have been all over this like flies on a shit
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 14 Oct 2014, 17:06, closed)