How nerdy are you?This week Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons, died. A whole generation of pasty dice-obsessed nerds owes him big time. Me included.
So, in his honour, how nerdy were you? Are you still sunlight-averse? What are the sad little things you do that nobody else understands?
As an example, a B3ta regular who shall remain nameless told us, "I spent an entire school summer holiday getting my BBC Model B computer to produce filthy stories from an extensive database of names, nouns, adjectives, stock phrases and deviant sexual practices. It revolutionised the porn magazine dirty letter writing industry for ever.
Revel in your own nerdiness.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:32)
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Let’s examine the evidence…Star Trek – Check. Original and Next Gen only (to the degree that I have written my own lyrics to sing over the theme tune). Additional: Isn’t ‘Krish Krush’ how you say ‘Goodbye’ in Klingon?...or did I get that from watching Frasier?...Which reminds me…
Frasier – Check.
LOTR - Check
Monty Python – Check (Even some of the German ones)
Blackadder – All 4 – every line - Check
Red Dwarf – Check
Star Wars - to the point of knowing the script to all six, owning the holiday special, the Clone Wars cartoons and the Muppets Star Wars special. I know the name of virtually every character whether they had a speaking part or not – own a huge SW collection and every game etc. I also had my honeymoon 4 months before my actual wedding so that I could go to New York and watch the premiere of Episode 1 – In other words - Check
Glasses – used to have big thick NHS ones until the laser surgery. Check
PC Geek – from a kid with a BBC micro who spent his school breaktimes on the school PCs, the the IT twunt I am now with a house full of useless components – Check
Fighting Fantasy books where it says ‘If you want to run to mummy, go to page 17, however if you want to cut the Slashertroll’s bollocks off, go to page 24 – Check (this was when I was a kid though - and in my defence I would've gone to page 24)
Consoles – I have a PS2, NDS, 2 XBOX 360s and a Wii and have hacked them all. Not because I’m nerdy, but because I’m tightarsed and because I can. I don’t actually play on any of them though (I don’t have time) – but check.
Classical Music – Check
Heavy Metal – Check
Cheesy Pop – Check
Weird Al Yankovic - Check
World Of Warcraft – I fight the urge to play it because I know it will take over my life. I’ve seen what it has done to some of my friends. Uncheck
Terry Pratchett – Check
Q.I. - Seen every episode a multitude of times – Check
Ridiculous gadget monkey – Check
Ringtones – My PDA has different ringtones for different people but they Include SW Imperial march, SW cantina song, Voodoo Chile, Theme from Benny Hill,Shaft, Hong Kong Phooey (for Captain Placid), theme from ‘Man About the House’, 'Magic Roundabout' and ‘Are You Being Served?’, Spanish Flea, and personalised ringtones I set up myself using a speech synthesiser. Check.
Using waaaaaay too many acronyms and abbreviations in conversation - Check
Being a hardcore B3tard who wishes he could use Photoshop better- Guilty as charged
I even went trainspotting once – not in the movie ‘let’s all take heroin’ way. Oh no. REAL trainspotting. It was only once – I quickly realised that even for me that was a shite pastime (although the person I was with looked like he wanted to crack one off every time a model 50 trundled by).
I used to write poetry – fortunately that later evolved into song lyrics which made it slightly cooler.
I relate almost every comparison to ‘VHS versus Betamax’ for some reason…”Oh, Bluray vs HDDVD? That’s just like VHS vs Betamax”, and “Heinz baked beans vs Tesco value? – That’s just like VHS vs Betamax”
Overall, I am an overly sensitive, socially inept, pasty-faced monomaniac, desperately lacking in self confidence with all the personality of a cheese grater. I also always have a cold.
Actually, as I check the list above, I’m surprised I‘m not still a virgin. Fortunately, I manage to keep all the above traits simmering below the surface and can pass myself off as a normal human being most of the time.
And thankfully I’ve got a massive cock.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:35,
9 replies)
You mentioned your massive cock;so I clicked 'I Like this'.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:43, closed)
^^@Jasper^^Sorry I left it til the end...could've saved yourself having to read the rest!
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:45,
closed)
Well you kept all that quiet.You seemed so normal when I met you, apart from being abnormally funny that is.
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girlinthehole, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:57,
closed)
ooYou sound ace!
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 14:34, closed)
will only clickWhen you post the lyrics to ST:TNG theme...
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scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 15:32,
closed)
@scoshi...Ooh I couldn't possibly! - Even I have a shame threshold...
besides, unless you hear them performed in the tongue-in-cheek manner with which they were intentioned...they sound a bit like a homo-erotic love track to Jean Luc Picard.
well...maybe the first few lines...to start singing when the full music kicks in...
"Ooh JLP, JLP...he's sexy but old, he's wrinkly and bold, it's big JLP"
"he hasn't got aaaaaany hair, but the girls don't care. They-get-frisky-with-JLP (bam bam)"
and so on.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 15:41,
closed)
Aaaaw thanks!Theme tune to Hong Kong Phooey for my ringtone. I'm flattered!
Oh yeah
"click"
(, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 8:43, closed)
KlingonIsn’t ‘Krish Krush’ how you say ‘Goodbye’ in Klingon?
I always believed there was no such thing as "goodbye" in Klingon. When the conversation was over, one of the Klingons would just get up and walk away.
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Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:30,
closed)
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