Computer programmer extraordinaire
My first "proper" computer was an Amstrad PC1512 with - joy of joys - twin 5.25" floppy disk drives! It came with MS-DOS 3.2 and I learned how to program using DEBUG. Well, at least until my dad arrived home from work with a hooky copy of MASM and the instruction manuals, that is.

My first foray into programming was a saved game editor for Elite, so I could cheat and give myself a large cargo bay, docking computers, military lasers all round, ECM, and more. (Christ almighty, I can still remember the names of the components, 20 years later! Someone shoot me, please.) At least, that was my grand plan.

It ended up being a saved game viewer, because I became bored before writing the bit which would let me make changes to the file. I ended up not cheating and played the game properly.

One problem with the game was that, being released at a time when the PC was a proper "business" computer, and not seen as a games machine, Elite for the PC was made ridiculously easy so as not to hamper sales. I made it all the way to Elite with the original, unmodified ship with which I started the game. Could I have done that on the BBC Model B? Maybe, but not without a hell of a lot more practice.

My second foray into programming was a snub at Microsoft. At the time, it was "impossible" to move files between directories; one had to copy the file and then delete it from its original location. Thus spake Microsoft, and who were we mere peons to question Redmond's wisdom?

Well, with a measly 360KB per diskette, which I quickly filled, I got fed up with it and decided to do something about it. Every single "move" program I found on magazine cover diskettes didn't actually move files at all; they just did the same old copy/delete routine behind the scenes. Armed with a copy of this book I set out to prove them all wrong.

And I did.

I worked out how to edit the file system directly, so moving a file between directories was a simple matter of changing the pointer to the file, which meant that it would work on a completely full diskette. An unexpected side-effect of this was that one could rename directories, something else which was supposed to be "impossible" in the prehistoric days of MS-DOS 3.2. Hah! Fuck you, Bill! Phear my leet skillz!

My third and final attempt at programming was a piss-poor attempt to build a better mousetrap, actually a better diskette format program. Buoyed by my previous filesystem success, the murky depths of INT 13 held no fear for me. I would become the diskette format master.

Several nights of coding later, my masterpiece was ready to be tested. I fished out a diskette I'd volunteered for the sacrifice, and let my creation loose on it.

The diskette drive let out the most horrible grinding noise I'd ever heard, and then stopped dead. I nervously extracted the diskette and put it in the computer next to mine, and tried to use it.

No dice. The computer refused to recognise that it was a diskette, never mind a usable one. The next day I tried the diskette in two other computers, with the same result.

I had killed it. It was an ex-diskette. The drive survived, though.

I never programmed again.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 20:11, 4 replies)

Elite
Was a fantastic game. I wish I still had my BBC Micro and copy of Elite.
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 20:32, closed)

@Pavlov'sDog
www.mikebuk.dsl.pipex.com/beebem/

bbc.nvg.org/
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 20:37, closed)

At the risk of destroying an illusion..
The 'rename' command is effectively a move..
(syllopsium, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:58, closed)

@syllopsium
Now it is, yes. But back then, in MS-DOS 3.2, Microsoft decreed it to be impossible.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 18:47, closed)