Not quite a hero but he was quite famous when I was little.
Timmy Mallet.
In my first year of University we were unfortunate enough to warrant a show by this spack faced retard. Obviously I got absolutely plastered and somehow got my hands on one of the foam mallets that were being handed out.
At some point I was dragged onto the stage and forced to play the ingenious game "Mallets Mallet". I was shitfaced. Also, I didn't know any of the things he was asking. I got hit with the mallet. Timmy got hit with my mallet. Hard. He didn't really react so, at my next failure to come up with a satisfactory response. He tried to mallet me again. He got hit. Hard. Repeatedly. His hat came off.
He wasn't best pleased. He came right up to me and whispered in my ear "Listen you cunt, I'm the star. Stop fucking about."
I wasn't going to take that. He got a "fuck yourself arsehamster!" or similar and the beating of his life. I got one of those stupid plasters and a shit comic.
It was one of the proudest moments of my University life. The day I gave Timmy Mallet a beating and got him to swear at me.
The cunt.
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Fri 26 May 2006, 4:40, Reply)