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This is a question The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

In amongst all the tales of bitterness and poo, we occasionally get fluffy stories that bring a small tear to our internet-jaded eyes.

In celebration of this, what is the nicest thing someone's done for you? Whether you thoroughly deserved it or it came out of the blue, tell us of heartwarming, selfless acts by others.

Failing that, what nice things have you done for other people, whether they liked it or not?

(, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 16:14)
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Thank you for calling first!
In my spare time, I volunteer as a counselor on a suicide crisis line (this is not a "hooray for me" post, not to worry), and I'd like to take a moment to thank the individuals who, despite their pain and desperation, pick up the phone and give us a call.

Believe me, NOT killing yourself is the often the nicest possible thing you can ever do for your family, your friends, and all the future friends and family you'd otherwise not get the chance to meet.

If you've every seen the aftermath of a suicide, or heard from the family or friends of someone who's killed himself/herself, you know it's not something you'd want to inflict on anyone.

Even if you think nobody would care, believe me, they do. No matter how alone you are, there are people who would like to know you if you'd take the chance, and there are probably people who like you already, who'd be very upset to hear of your demise, that you just need to get back into better contact with.

It's not a sign of weakness to get help for depression. It's a mental illness, and if it's severe, you can no more "suck it up and get on with it" than you could "suck it up" if you had cancer, and you know it's severe if you're thinking about ending it all, even if you joke about it too.

Depression is also the most treatable of mental ilnesses, and with a combination of therapy and/or medication, many people get past it and find a life with joy and meaning.

Killing yourself isn't something to romanticize, it's a miserable, horrible, pathetic mess with all kinds of collateral damage.

So to those of you who've considered it, but have taken the time to call a hotline or get help on your own, I thank you on behalf of all your current and future friends that are left unbereaved (and your future self, who will thank you in time). Whether you believe it or not, the world is (and can continue to be) a better place with you in it.

If you're British or Irish, call the Samaritans:
In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90.
In the Republic of Ireland dial 1850 60 90 90

If you're a Merkin, call:
1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-273-TALK

If you're not any of those, well, get on with it then. Cut vertically, not horizontally, the knot goes behind the ear for proper severing of the spinal cord, you need a good height for jumping unless you just want broken legs, etc. (This is B3TA after all, it wouldn't be right to post without the obligatory tasteless comment.)

Seriously though, just use GOOGLE to find a suicide hotline / crisis center / psychiatrist / therapist / etc., or just go to your local emergency room, they can help, and there are options regardless of how little you can afford.

Thanks again for calling. Even if your life doesn't mean much to you now, it does (or could) mean everything to someone else.
(, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 6:36, 8 replies)
I disagree with your arguement against suicide, though it's a position I'm inclined to share with you, and Camus I think said why most eloquently.
*clears throat*


The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back
of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless
labor.

If one believes Homer, Sisyphus was the wisest and most prudent of mortals. According to another tradition, however, he
was disposed to practice the profession of highwayman. I see no contradiction in this. Opinions differ as to the reasons why
he became the futile laborer of the underworld. To begin with, he is accused of a certain levity in regard to the gods. He
stole their secrets. Egina, the daughter of Esopus, was carried off by Jupiter. The father was shocked by that disappearance
and complained to Sisyphus. He, who knew of the abduction, offered to tell about it on condition that Esopus would give
water to the citadel of Corinth. To the celestial thunderbolts he preferred the benediction of water. He was punished for this
in the underworld. Homer tells us also that Sisyphus had put Death in chains. Pluto could not endure the sight of his
deserted, silent empire. He dispatched the god of war, who liberated Death from the hands of her conqueror.

It is said that Sisyphus, being near to death, rashly wanted to test his wife's love. He ordered her to cast his unburied body
into the middle of the public square. Sisyphus woke up in the underworld. And there, annoyed by an obedience so contrary
to human love, he obtained from Pluto permission to return to earth in order to chastise his wife. But when he had seen
again the face of this world, enjoyed water and sun, warm stones and the sea, he no longer wanted to go back to the
infernal darkness. Recalls, signs of anger, warnings were of no avail. Many years more he lived facing the curve of the gulf,
the sparkling sea, and the smiles of earth. A decree of the gods was necessary. Mercury came and seized the impudent man
by the collar and, snatching him from his joys, lead him forcibly back to the underworld, where his rock was ready for him.

You have already grasped that Sisyphus is the absurd hero. He is, as much through his passions as through his torture. His
scorn of the gods, his hatred of death, and his passion for life won him that unspeakable penalty in which the whole being is
exerted toward accomplishing nothing. This is the price that must be paid for the passions of this earth. Nothing is told us
about Sisyphus in the underworld. Myths are made for the imagination to breathe life into them. As for this myth, one sees
merely the whole effort of a body straining to raise the huge stone, to roll it, and push it up a slope a hundred times over;
one sees the face screwed up, the cheek tight against the stone, the shoulder bracing the clay-covered mass, the foot
wedging it, the fresh start with arms outstretched, the wholly human security of two earth-clotted hands. At the very end of
his long effort measured by skyless space and time without depth, the purpose is achieved. Then Sisyphus watches the
stone rush down in a few moments toward that lower world whence he will have to push it up again toward the summit. He
goes back down to the plain.

It is during that return, that pause, that Sisyphus interests me. A face that toils so close to stones is already stone itself! I see
that man going back down with a heavy yet measured step toward the torment of which he will never know the end. That
hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousness. At each of those
moments when he leaves the heights and gradually sinks toward the lairs of the gods, he is superior to his fate. He is
stronger than his rock.

If this myth is tragic, that is because its hero is conscious. Where would his torture be, indeed, if at every step the hope of
succeeding upheld him? The workman of today works everyday in his life at the same tasks, and his fate is no less absurd.
But it is tragic only at the rare moments when it becomes conscious. Sisyphus, proletarian of the gods, powerless and
rebellious, knows the whole extent of his wretched condition: it is what he thinks of during his descent. The lucidity that
was to constitute his torture at the same time crowns his victory. There is no fate that can not be surmounted by scorn.

If the descent is thus sometimes performed in sorrow, it can also take place in joy. This word is not too much. Again I
fancy Sisyphus returning toward his rock, and the sorrow was in the beginning. When the images of earth cling too tightly to
memory, when the call of happiness becomes too insistent, it happens that melancholy arises in man's heart: this is the
rock's victory, this is the rock itself. The boundless grief is too heavy to bear. These are our nights of Gethsemane. But
crushing truths perish from being acknowledged. Thus, Edipus at the outset obeys fate without knowing it. But from the
moment he knows, his tragedy begins. Yet at the same moment, blind and desperate, he realizes that the only bond linking
him to the world is the cool hand of a girl. Then a tremendous remark rings out: "Despite so many ordeals, my advanced
age and the nobility of my soul make me conclude that all is well." Sophocles' Edipus, like Dostoevsky's Kirilov, thus gives
the recipe for the absurd victory. Ancient wisdom confirms modern heroism.

One does not discover the absurd without being tempted to write a manual of happiness. "What!---by such narrow ways--?" There is but one world, however. Happiness and the absurd are two sons of the same earth. They are inseparable. It would
be a mistake to say that happiness necessarily springs from the absurd. discovery. It happens as well that the felling of the
absurd springs from happiness. "I conclude that all is well," says Edipus, and that remark is sacred. It echoes in the wild and
limited universe of man. It teaches that all is not, has not been, exhausted. It drives out of this world a god who had come
into it with dissatisfaction and a preference for futile suffering. It makes of fate a human matter, which must be settled
among men.

All Sisyphus' silent joy is contained therein. His fate belongs to him. His rock is a thing Likewise, the absurd man, when he
contemplates his torment, silences all the idols. In the universe suddenly restored to its silence, the myriad wondering little
voices of the earth rise up. Unconscious, secret calls, invitations from all the faces, they are the necessary reverse and price
of victory. There is no sun without shadow, and it is essential to know the night. The absurd man says yes and his efforts
will henceforth be unceasing. If there is a personal fate, there is no higher destiny, or at least there is, but one which he
concludes is inevitable and despicable. For the rest, he knows himself to be the master of his days. At that subtle moment
when man glances backward over his life, Sisyphus returning toward his rock, in that slight pivoting he contemplates that
series of unrelated actions which become his fate, created by him, combined under his memory's eye and soon sealed by his
death. Thus, convinced of the wholly human origin of all that is human, a blind man eager to see who knows that the night
has no end, he is still on the go. The rock is still rolling.

I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain! One always finds one's burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity
that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to
him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night filled mountain, in itself forms a
world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
(, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 7:18, closed)
tl;dr

(, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 8:08, closed)
Yes, but...
Sisyphus is a fictional mythical character used as a metaphor.

Even your quote from Camus seems to argue in favor of CONTINUING the struggle of one's existence.

"Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night filled mountain, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

Depression sufferers are not mythical or metaphorical, they're real people with a real condition that can be treated in a variety of ways. It may seem like a Sisyphean struggle to deal with at times, but given the time and patience to find the right combination of professionals, treatment and/or medication, it can be often be brought under control successfully and allow those who have it to get back to a life they can enjoy.

So, I'm not sure I understand exactly what your position is or your disagreement with me is, lengthy though the Camus quote was, so if you can spell it out more clearly (and succinctly), maybe we can discuss it further.

If it's going to be one of those free will / tragic poet / self-destruction as a rational choice / bullshit rationalizations for not getting the help that's readily available because some prefer dramatic failure to success involving tedium and hard work, you can skip it, as that's childish and shallow.

(Seriously though, Camus? The Richard Bach of the black turtleneck set?)
(, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 8:17, closed)
Yup.
If you kill yourself, you'll cause indescribable pain to the very people who'd most have wanted to help you, if you'd only asked them.

You're entitled to help. Ask for what you need. Doesn't have to be from anyone close - try a helpline or website.

If you think nobody cares, you're wrong. It's really as simple as that.
(, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 8:08, closed)
Thank you.
Thank you for giving up your time to help people who don't realise how much they need it.

Thank you for being there when we're alone in the darkness.
(, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 19:44, closed)
bless you
keep it up.
(, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 21:52, closed)
Childline
I'm sure the majority of helpline workers are much more sympathetic than the woman who answered my call when i was 12. I was having a particularly hard time at school (bullies) and wanted to talk to a stranger - anyone - just for some soft words and reassurance.

It was about 9pm, and i had been plucking up the courage to call Childline. When i finally did the phone was answered with a curt sounding 'Hello, Childline', followed by me stammering that i wanted someone to talk to as i was feeling very upset.

'Is it an emergency?' she asked

'What do you mean?' said I

'Well we only take calls for emergency cases after *certain time* so if you're not an emergency case can you call back another time please.'

'O-o-o-ok' I managed to stutter before bursting into tears as soon as i hung up.

Perhaps that's standard procedure for helplines, i don't know - but if it is it's a fucking shit one. Bitch nearly caused me to top myself.
(, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 17:05, closed)
I had a similar experience...
...with the Samaritans. A friend of mine was feeling suicidal, so I called them up to see if they had any advice I could pass onto her regards what she could do, who she could contact. They curtly said she would have to call them herself, and refused to budge on my simple request...I just wanted some advice to give her, damn it!
(, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 17:41, closed)

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