I'm with cancer joy
I just don't get it: if she really really wanted the child, why would she have an abortion? So you and your new woman, the one you left her for, could play happy families?! Makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me.

Don't wish to seem mean, I just feel that if I were in that situation, I really wouldn't have put my ex over a much longer-for child and possibly last chance at motherhood.
(G-Lo, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 13:37, 1 reply)

She still really loved me, despite the split
and didn't want to ruin my life - it's one of the most selfless acts anyone I've ever known has ever done.

I know where you're coming from - it's almost inconceivable (yay! inappropriate pun!), hence me posting this in the first place.

I don't know - all I know is that she's fucking well not pretending to be completely torn apart by it, believe me...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 13:54, closed)

((Hug))
It is amazing, and a very difficult decision to have to make...

I like to think I could have that kind of courage if I needed to..

xxS
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 15:03, closed)

I don't want to detract from this weeks fluffehness
But having read your exchanges wth cancer joy above, the story seems to read;

1. You generally treated your girlfriend like poo, to the extent of getting some other woman pregnant and leaving her, presumably devastating her in the process.
2. You were sleeping with both women at the same time without contraception, are you a teenager?! Did you not consider pregnancy / STI's?
3. When Maxine fell pregnant at the same time as the other woman, you told her having the baby would 'ruin your life'. So she's broken-hearted, vulnerable and facing life as a single mother and then on top of that is being made responsible for ruining your life?!

I don't often get on my moral high-horse, but from how you tell it you have behaved in the most god-awful way. The only redeeming feature of this story is that you seem to now appreciate your girlfriend, which is lucky, because you'll have to love her A LOT to make up for her facing a childless future.

Rant over

EDIT Which is actually more or less a longer version of what you said in your post at 15:20. Sorry, I am a bit sensitive where children are concerned of late. My friend lost her much longed-for baby recently, at ten weeks old, and in horrible circumstances. I can't stop thinking about it, and feel so sad for her. I'm not usually so shouty.

I feel really sad now.
(G-Lo, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 16:24, closed)

Hmmmm
1. We broke up mutually, and you know nothing of the circumstances. There are a number of pretty serious ways in which Maxine treated me 'like poo', which I've not gone into - and woman B became pregnant very quickly after we started seeing each other. Maxine became pregnant on the last occasion we slept together before we broke up - we were both devastated when we broke up. All I did was launch into a rebound relationship with a nutter, whilst I was still coming to terms with it all. You don't know what you're talking about here, I'm afraid.

2. you haven't read my post properly: I was told by woman B she was sterile (and I had STD tests before sleeping with her which you weren't to know), and Maxine became pregnant through coil failure - the coil, to my knowlege, being a method of contraception. And no, I wasn't sleeping with both women at the same time.

3. Read my edit 2 (14:07 post) when I said 'I told her it would ruin my life' I meant it figuratively, I just told her about the abusive situation I was in (EDIT: and I was glassed just for talking to her). I told Maxine I'd suppport whatever decision she chose to make no matter what. She already has a 14 year old son; her future is just likely to be childless with me.

Sorry to hear of your friend's loss. I wish to God Maxine hadn't terminated to be honest - given the choice she'd be the mother of my child as she is 100% amazing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 16:52, closed)

*apologises*
You're right, I don't know enough about your circumstances, sorry
(G-Lo, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 17:46, closed)