The Tale of Kaol and the Crack-Heads
Warning: Not a funny story

When I was a younger Kaol, I wasn't a very nice person.
Drugs, far too much alcohol, violence, psychotic mental health issues and stealing.
In short, I was a terrible cunt.

As most people with heavy drug usage tend to do, I ended up hanging around with a lot of dealers and assorted nasty-types.
I ended up getting to know these people pretty well, and they'd do favours for me and I'd do favours for them.

I was at home one night and my phone started to ring.
The screen was displaying a number that I didn't recognise, but I answered it anyway.
Turned out that it was a dealer I knew, and he wanted me to go with him to make a sale, because "I'm a big guy".

We got to where we were meeting the "clients", I stayed in the car, with a baseball-bat, "just in case".
As I was watching through the window, I saw the three of them knock my "associate"* to the ground, and start to kick him.

I don't fully remember what happened, it was all a bit of a blur, and I was shaking and sick afterwards, but I know that I hit all three of them with the bat, and realised that one of them was going to try and stab my associate.
I later heard that I'd broken the ribs of two of them.

I'm not proud of any of this, in the least bit, but the "nice-ness" comes in that I got away from doing drugs pretty sharpish afterwards. So, I guess I owe a "thank you" to the dealer I stopped from getting stabbed, in a strange way.
If this whole situation hadn't have happened, I'd have likely ended up in a gutter somewhere, bleeding my organs out.
So thank you, scumbag-drug-dealer.

*I'm not going to say "friend" or "mate", he was a scumbag

P.S. I'm lovely now. Fact.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:12, 18 replies)

You couldn't let
things just carry on being nice could you?

There's always one that ruins it for everyone else.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:24, closed)

Awh :(
Be nice to me!
There's a twisted moral in there somewhere...
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:27, closed)

Hahaha
I'm just kidding dude, I enjoy your stories very much much.

*blushes*
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:30, closed)

I can corroborate the fact that he is lovely.
.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:25, closed)

hmm
after reading these pages for a few years, and participating for a couple I have read a legion of stories, good and bad about people and their lives, ups, downs, scrapes and adventures.

It has slowly dawned on me why I feel a bit out of place sometimes.

I am the most fucking M.O.R. mundane poster in the world! nothing really happens to me compared to all the crazy mixed up shite thats happened to virtually every poster ever.

I AM THE PAUL WELLER OF QOTW, BOW BEFORE ME!!!!!!!!!


sigh, and wanders off
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:34, closed)

Awh,
You're doing yourself a disservice, Mr. H.

It's not all about the answers, there're some real gems in replies.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:39, closed)

wanders back in
humming "changing man"

Really?

GOTCHA!

thats two nice posts in one day! now you have to go kill a kitten to balance the Karma, mwwahahaha

edit: and thankyou kind sir ;)
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:42, closed)

Balls...
To be fair, I did hit an old woman with a door at lunchtime.

By accident
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:43, closed)

hmm
that saves the kitten, but you better do something really shitty soon, or the universe will collapse!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:54, closed)

Well,
I spend a few hours last night flicking lit cigarette ends from a balcony into Covent Garden...
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:56, closed)

Halfy
I've come to the same conclusion which is why I don't have many good stories.

I have however been collecting stories from the singer in my band, who is a complete liability.

I'm just waiting for the appropriate qotw to share with you tales of indiana jones style antics, dumb waiters, and sexually abused by a dog
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 15:58, closed)

After careful consideration
I've decided that I absolutely NEED to hear the story about the dog.

I'm praying for a QOTW tomorrow that allows it :D
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:02, closed)

Vipros
I have suggested a question suitable I believe

www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=265575
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:08, closed)

End of the story?
Did the dealer scumbag who's life you saved hook you up with some gratis treats for being a heavy when he really needed it? That would have been lovely.

Glad you cleaned up nice in the end though!
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:08, closed)

I got
A nice wad of cash.

:D
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:11, closed)

You know what bothers me?
Nothing personal, but it seems that the world loves rehabilitated, born-again, saw-the-light types such as yourself. Whereas people like me - never touched a drop of alcohol or any illegal substance, never hurt anyone, completely disease-free - are completely ignored. It's not a matter of principle, I honestly don't care who smokes what, and I'm far from a goody goody.

I can't think of one politician or actor who wasn't on some hardcore drug at some point.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 18:36, closed)

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring
only kidding.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 20:45, closed)

but
its nice to know you can beat the c*** out of someone if you ever need to.
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 13:13, closed)