My oh so hilarious phone manner
If I'm expecting a call at work or home from a friend or family, I like to answer the phone thus: "Hello, Madame Zsa's Tangerine Massage Parlour. Gervaise speaking, how may I be servicing you?" (My wife found it amusing once, ten years ago. And has regretted it ever since.)

Thing is ... sometimes it's not who I expect on the phone. Sometimes it's work or something important. And then I have to hang up. And wait for them to call back so I can pretend to be a serious grown-up rather than, say, an immature choob with the sense of humour of a not-very-funny 12-year-old.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 20:46, 4 replies)

My mum, expecting a call from my dad, once answered the phone "Battersea dogs home".
My girlfriend on the other end let out a meek "sorryImusthavethewrongnumber".
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 21:58, closed)

My ex boss...
used to sometimes answer our work phone with 'Mojo's soul kitchen, Soho'. When the person on the other would apologise for having the wrong number he'd say 'Ain't no big thing, blood'.

We worked in a city law firm ffs.
(Plumstix has been spying on you since, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 22:32, closed)

Im 12 too
I answer "Saucy Susans Seaside Sex Romp Emporium". I never fail to find it ammusing although the same cannot be said for the rest of the family!
(scowners shagged his mum on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 9:03, closed)

My colleague..
Used "Hattie's Happy Hands number 1 Massage Parlour!"
Even to the consultant doctor and head of our regional health protection unit. Who is also owner of a sense of humour, thank heavens..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:17, closed)