Attack of the Cyberman
I was pretty much a goody-two shoes child but one time I lived life on the edge once by combining my love of Doctor Who with my love of explosives. A schoolfriend had come back from France with loads of those small red bangers and donated me a set.

Just detonating them on their own seemed a bit of a missed opportunity so I looked around for something I could explode. My tiny plastic model Daleks and Cybermen (the Citadel ones) seemed ideal so I snuck out into the garden, stuffed a banger into a Dalek and lit the fuse. It exploded into a very satisfying number of pieces and so I went through the rest of the pack of bangers, alternating between blowing up Daleks and Cybermen.

The last one to go was a Cyberman so I tucked the banger between its legs and watched intently as I set the fuse off, only to witness the top half of its body fly straight at my right eye. Fortunately (in just this one particular instance) I was a speccy twat so it just bounced off, leaving a gash right in the middle of the lens, thus sparing me the world's lamest "How did you lose your eye?" story. Other than the shattered corpses of the former resident of Mondas and Skaro, there were no witnesses and this is the first time I've told the tale. So unless my mother is a B3tan, I think I've gotten away with it.
(johnson, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:17, 11 replies)

if it'd got you in the eye
it might have left you with a nasty skaro
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:23, closed)

you've been on fire recently

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:55, closed)

so i've heard ;)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:03, closed)

hang on a sec...best read in the voice of the comic book guy....
Telos, not Skaro, is the home planet of the Cybermen. Your word play is factually flawed.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 30 Jan 2011, 12:53, closed)

i was thinking more of the dalek homeworld

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 14:11, closed)

Again, read in voice of Comic Book Guy but even more superciliously
Actually, Mondas was the home planet of the Cybermen (Earth's long lost twin), they just conquered and hibernated on Telos.

Worst. Pedantry. Ever.
(johnson, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 19:21, closed)

Drunken pants dancing excepted...!

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Sun 30 Jan 2011, 10:30, closed)

a quite darlektable play on words.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 4:33, closed)

I know and my mother would have kaled me.
(johnson, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 10:52, closed)

Love it
( Vambo, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:04, closed)

Johnson!
... You naughty boy. You are SO grounded.

And no Doctor Who for a month!
(Stiltzkin, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 16:40, closed)