nose pickers
sitting on benches in the park or, even worse, sitting at a table in a cafe or restaurant while you're trying to eat, with their fingers jammed up to the second knuckle inside their own nasal cavities, mining for a nugget of purest green, oblivious to the retching sounds of disgusted diners around them.
cut it out, you filthy bastards, or at least give us a wave when you get to the bridge.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:25, 27 replies)

The bridge of their nose?
That's pretty bloody deep.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:27, closed)

noses stretched from over-picking

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:30, closed)

Ah, so that's what happened to that Eastenders actress.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:33, closed)

pff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:37, closed)

Told you
not to move to Norfolk.
(username failed moderation, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:44, closed)

ooo arrrrr

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:53, closed)

My friend picks his nose
using his thumb and finger together, like a pair of tweezers. It's quite an offputting sight, especially if he's in your house or car at the time and you're never quite sure what he's going to do with the fruits of his nasal excavation afterwards (I once observed him dropping them into his shirt pocket)

Of course, if confronted about it he pulls the classic nose-picker's excuse; "I had an itch! I was scratching!"
(Spectacular Biscuits, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:53, closed)

my dad's worse
he's reached that age where he thinks it's funny to flick his nose gems at you if you call him out on a picking
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:55, closed)

If my Dad did
that, I'd fucking kill him.

Well, if he was still alive. He's not.

Been dead for 30 years. But I'd still be really cross.
(username failed moderation, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 16:20, closed)

it's still better than his stealth farts

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 16:31, closed)

Mind your own bloody business, then!
We're doing it for ourselves, not to amuse you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:54, closed)

it's trainwreck stuff
you don't want to stare, but you just can't help it :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:56, closed)

Maybe you should offer your assistance?
Nine times out of ten, I'm trying to pluck out a nasal hair, so someone with an outsider's view may well have more success (few things worse than thinking I've grasped it, tugging, and pulling out part of my mustache).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 16:04, closed)

you really don't want my help
with fingernails as long as mine, you'd end up getting impromptu brain surgery, too
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 16:11, closed)

I do it in the car.
Because obviously I'm invisible to the rest of the world when sat in something where the top half is mostly see-through.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 15:57, closed)

obviously

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 16:00, closed)

Worse is having to clean your baby's nose.
I love and adore my 15 month old daughter. Nappies; not really a problem. Snotty nose; more of a problem.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 17:58, closed)

Suck it out
You've had worse things in your mouth. Well, maybe.

Note to those contemplating parenthood: This really is the approved method of dealing with snotty noses in babies. You thought it couldn't get worse than nappies, didn't you? And now you're googling "vasectomy".
(ubergeekian, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 22:07, closed)

i've heard a pipette is useful for this

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:53, closed)

Picking your nose
is lush. Nothing like hauling out a great big gristly bogey with all blood on it. Then eating it.

Best done in private, though, i.e. when having your morning dump. Nothing like a big clear-out to make room for breakfast!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 20:41, closed)

Agreed
I suffer permanent clotting in my nasal passages due to old rugby injuries. When the clotting mixes with accumulating bogies it looks like some sort of sea monster. Oh, but the splendid yielding feeling when you finally coax it out.
I wouldn't eat it though. Prefer to roll it into a round ball and drop it under the sofa.
anyone else got any bogey porn they'd like to share?
(Mr Gronk, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 23:18, closed)

Nope.
But of course Rule 34 now demands it.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Nov 2012, 23:41, closed)

I used to work with a Dutch guy...
...who treated his nose like a face-mounted snack dispenser.

:-(
(minimalist ..., Thu 29 Nov 2012, 23:42, closed)

queasylols

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:51, closed)

This is endemic in China
One time my wife's granny was staying with us. I came through the livingroom one day to see her nonchalantly thrusting an index finger up a nostril. My presence didn't deter her - there was work to do.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 2:52, closed)

Double standards
Yeah, I lived in a shared house in my last year at uni with 2 chinese fellas. They used to cough up phlegm and spit it in the kitchen sink (great when you're about to wash up), sit in front of the TV picking noses, always ate with their mouths open, shovelling in food with chopsticks and slurping away... and the mess they left in the bathrooms...

Then one day I was sat in the lounge with nail clippers and went to cut my finger & toe nails. They were shouting back and forth at each other in Chinese, glaring at me and getting increasingly livid in their own language, then one of them launched towards me like he was gonna knock me out. The other one had to hold him back, told me to stop doing this disgusting thing in public, and how I'd insulted them both.

Pair of chingy mentalists!
(harrypitta friends with the chilli saucerer, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:36, closed)

it sticks around in chinese families, too
even ones that haven't lived in china for decades.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:53, closed)