PEA TIME - COMPLETELY UNAWARE HE WAS A DICKHEAD

Several years ago I took a few days break to visit Byron Bay on the North Coast of New South Wales. As the sun was setting I was sitting down near the beach when some young, what would described in Britain as Chavs but what we would refer to in Oz as scum bags where playing a game of car jumping in the beach front car park.

For the uninformed this involves someone driving the car at a reasonable pace, around 20 or 30 km/h, in a straight line while someone runs at the car head on, jumps on to the bonnet, then the roof, then the boot and off the back.

I will admit that some of these guys weren't too bad at the pointless game.

There was one young bloke, the loudest, wankiest, pants around his knees, wearing jeans on a 35 degree day, pathetic haircut, young fuck knuckle of the group and he was up for his turn.

Although I can't actually remember it lets say for the sake of the story it was a poo brown Honda Accord, and quite possibly driven by Mr. T and as had happened a dozen or so times before, the aforementioned greatest disappointment possible from an orgasm, started his run towards the car, and as he took his first leap on to the bonnet got tangled in his own pants causing him to stuff up the take off and have his legs swept from under him and subsequently upended by the Honda, bounced off the roof head first and landed in a crumpled heap behind the car.

A complete totach!

Oh, how I laughed. As I trotted over to take a closer look at the fallen dick head, who was bleeding from his face, but, not in the copious amounts one would expect, that I saw his leg. Most legs run up and down from the hip to foot but, this leg now had a 90 degree bend at the knee, sideways. I almost wet my pants from laughter.

I think one of his vacant compatriots summed the situation up best when he said as his mate lay there possibly about to die,

"fuck man, I wish I had videoed that"
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 0:21, 13 replies)

What a douche, I mean, he comes across so badly in this. You look so normal and nice an all in comparison..
(anvil, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 2:20, closed)

It was you wasn't it? How's the knee?

And for the record and in line with B3TA legal process, the law of averages and rule of the badger - At no point did I claim to be unaware that I am a prick.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 4:31, closed)

bogans, surely?

( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 3:03, closed)

Bogans
other than a complete lack of aesthetic appeal, are generally harmless to the general public. These blokes where well below that level, deep diving into that pond known as scum.

You could tell they were just waiting for the sun to go down so they could head out to rob old ladies and drink spike underage girls.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 4:35, closed)

oh, right
i thought they were the equvalent of chavs, looking bad and behaving anti socially
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 5:24, closed)

Horse free guide to Bogans
thingsboganslike.com/
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 7:57, closed)

Bogans manage to breed everywhere unfortunately.
If you're lucky they won't be able to get their Toranas out of their own suburb without getting busted for hooning and thus stay in their own little enclave.

Sounds like you came across some young fuckwits. They sadly have managed to be entirely ignored by their middle-class parents everywhere. A bogan wouldn't understand roofies - "Just get Narelle pissed, she'll fuck anyone!"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 30 Nov 2012, 8:45, closed)

Pretty place, Byron Bay
Sorry to hear scumbags have been there. Reminds me once of seeing a low-rider automobile rolling slowly through a parking lot. There were two lasses on the bonnet, one on the left side and one on the right. The car made a slow, stately turn to the left, and the lass on the right side simply rolled off the bonnet and bounced on the pavement. Humans bounce surprisingly well!
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 6:55, closed)

I don't care if this doesn't fit the brief,
I enjoyed it anyway.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 10:11, closed)

Hahahaha

( Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 10:16, closed)

I can see why they named it New South Wales
It sounds just like our old one
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 10:22, closed)

Hello Swansea!
made I laugh, your post is so very accurate.
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Sat 1 Dec 2012, 8:04, closed)