Drove about two hours to meet a real live woman

...who I thought was a definite goer. Quick pub meal, nice chat before a cheesy movie, another movie at home with drinks and getting close.

"Well I only have one bed, so I guess you can sleep with me, but don't try anything funny" she said. I played the gent until the morning, and then, very horny, started coming on to her and by that point she was well up for it. Kisses, down to the nips, and then went down on her (well, it's only polite for starters, isn't it?). Job done - I gesture her hand towards my now desperate-to-get-on-with-the-job cock and she gets up, puts the kettle on and says she's expecting someone to arrive to work on the kitchen shortly.

I drove home and had a wank.

The end.
( Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 28 May 2014, 17:35, 4 replies)

Haha!
The same thing happened to an old colleague of mine after pulling a young lady in a nightclub.

He was called 'Filthy Kev'. You can see where this is going, can't you?

He was asked to leave early in the morning and whilst said lady was in the shower making herself presentable (for someone who turned out to be her husband), he wanked himself off over the coffee table, wiped his cock on a coat that was hanging by the front door, emptied the fridge of anything remotely edible and began the long trudge to the train station.

This was one of his more classy nights out.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Wed 28 May 2014, 18:00, closed)

We've all been there.

Speaking of which, I knew a guy who was in a band called 'Had Hannah', because all four of them had slept with the same bird.
( Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 28 May 2014, 18:03, closed)

Alright Chompy.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 28 May 2014, 21:07, closed)

haha

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 28 May 2014, 21:13, closed)