I heard you once put a conker up your bum to make it harder as your anus contains so much vinegar
is this true?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 15:51, 1 reply)

I heard that your arm-bones are made from layers of wet newspaper and you used to get your Mum to wank you off because if you did it yourself you gave your cock a Chinese burn.

( WormuIus, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 15:56, closed)

I heard that your head looks like someone put the end of a hockey stick inside a shirt.
Your torso is so weak that you once swallowed too much air and you had to go to A&E.

When they evaluated you, they said that you're lucky to be alive since it's theoretically impossible for an abortion to live outside the womb for 26 years.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 16:07, closed)

Tears, in my eyes.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 17 Sep 2011, 0:34, closed)