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This is a question It's Not What It Looks Like!

Cawl wrote two years ago, "People seem to have a knack for walking in at just the wrong time:
"Well, my clothes got wet, so did his... Yes, officer, huddling together to conserve body heat... Yes officer, he's five... No Officer... I'm not his Dad."

What have you done that, in retrospect, you'd really rather nobody had seen, mostly as things just get worse the more you try to explain it?

(, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 21:56)
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I got had
***The Setup***
There was a girl at work called Debbie. Short, obnoxious, ginger hair with a piggy face and acne. Steve was one of those skinny weasely guys and he wanted to fuck her, because Steve was into fat birds and Debbie was just about spherical.

***The Tale****
One Friday everyone from work went out for a bit of a piss up. Steve was busting out all his moves on Debbie and it was working, so much so that the two of them tottered over to me and asked if they could come back to mine at the end of the evening and ‘use’ my spare room. Why not I thought, I was feeling drunk and benevolent.
So the evening ended with me collapsing into instant coma on my bed while Debbie and Steve made the beast with two backs and one fucking huge gut in my spare room.

***The Switch***
Directly after, Steve being a class act, asked Debbie if she fancied some food. Of course she did, so Steve fucked off to get some and never returned. Which is how I woke on Saturday morning to find Debbie, short, obnoxious, ginger hair with a piggy face and acne, in my kitchen in MY FUCKING DRESSING GOWN munching on a slice of toast like a cow chewing the cud.

***The Sting***
As soon as I heard the knock on the front door I knew I was fucked. The look on my Dad’s face, shock, surprise and amusement all at the same time, has never left me. Years later he still occasionally mentions “that ugly bird” and I’ve long given up trying to explain myself.
(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 10:46, 6 replies)
Yeah, yeah
(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 10:49, closed)
There’s nothing you can say that’ll cut deeper than “Christ son, can’t you do better than that”

(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 10:52, closed)

(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 11:19, closed)
'Piggy face'
isn't an insult.

(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 11:38, closed)
Six tits as well!

(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 12:37, closed)

(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 17:18, closed)

(, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 17:32, closed)

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