I bake brilliant cakes
I just really, really can't be arsed doing it, and resent the fact that just because I *can* bake, people assume I want to bake them cunting cakes for free all the time.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 10:51, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I like to say "no" a lot
it's free, it's fun and now no cunt ever asks me to do anything for them. Of course, I never get invited out anywhere by anyone and spend most of my days weeping alone in my house, but it's worth it!
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Yeah, but it's usually family
Or really good friends, so I would feel a bit horrid saying no. Plus, they're used to me being absolutely and utterly useless in any other respect, so it's nice to surprise people from time to time.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Still, if it's inconvenient to you
you shouldn't feel obligated to say yes.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

It's not inconvenient
I'm just really, really lazy. I prefer to do the sum total of nothing on my days off, any obligations ruin it for me.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Still your salty tears will help to keep your path clear.

As you'd hate to slip and hurt yourself as you made your way down to the shed to string yourself up.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Knowing me I'd break my neck on the crazy paving
and at the last prove beyond all doubt that I am the utter loser I know myself to be. A man so utterly tragic that he even manages to fail at suicide.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Surely it;s only fair for you to tell people
that cakes cost money to make, so it'd be fairest for them to cough up for the ingredients and your time - which would still be cheaper than them buying a cake of commensurate quality? They'd either pay you or fuck off
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

See above
Although I don't think people really appreciate how much money it costs to make a decent cake.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)