My pub would be called the Go Go Gadget Arms
Its doors would be manned by flamboyantly gay Ninjas who would critique everyone's dress sense on the way in and refuse entry to anyone who looked a bit fighty/poor/from Derbyshire/like they might sing along to the chorus of "Sex on Fire".

I would personally supervise and rework the contents of the jukebox daily. VNV Nation and Lady GaGa would feature heavily.

The bar would have a Foster's pump which would not serve Fosters, but if anyone asked for a pint thereof an AUSSIE SIREN would sound and the entire bar would point and laugh whilst chanting "three innings defeats in your back yard" repeatedly.

And some other stuff I haven't thought of.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)