Initially a crippling cramp wracks your tortured stomach-lining,
but the blessed relief at its subsiding is quickly replaced by horror as the realisation hits you: that your tortured shit-hoop is about to spew forth rusty, acidic water once again. Any solidity to your stools is long gone and all that remains in its place are high-pitched, feminine-sounding whiny guffs, and a kind of dirty mucus that looks like it has turmeric in it.

Why, oh why, you cry to yourself, did I agree to go for that 'pint' with Marc Almond at lunchtime....?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:19, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Very good. One question...
why are you putting even more thought into my anal expulsions than I am?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:21, Reply)

It's because I fancy you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

You're only human

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Human League lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

No, no
Marc Almond was in Soft Cell, and lots of boys.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:24, Reply)

*sighs*
The Human League had a hit single called 'Human', the chorus of which began 'I'm only human'.

Never mind, poo-lord.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Your knowledge of 80s synth-pop is impressive for a self-proclaimed heterosexual

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:31, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:24, Reply)