It all started to go wrong when on an impulse he asked you to help him out
with his volunteering in homeless shelters. Blinded by his easy-going hair and penchant for necklaces, you agreed. You even made it to lunchtime before giving in to your righteous Tory anger and yelling "GET A JOB" right in the face of a tramp.

To be fair, he might have given you the benefit of the doubt, but when you lectured the next guy on how unfair it was that he kept a dog when he couldn't even keep up on the mortgage payments on a six bedroom Chelsea home, it was just too much.

Things were never the same after that and he dumped you via badly-written poetry.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:06, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

As soon as I saw this post I thought "he's going for a popular page epic"
It almost pains me to click it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

i would click it all day
if either of you had a bash at producing said "badly written poetry"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)

The bird must fly free
and so it is with me
you said you liked chick peas
but you're just a stinking Tory.
I'm going to write a song
On how your attitude's wrong
It shouldn't take too long
As I'm not terribly well-informed politically and really just put on this show of being a sensitive tramp-loving guitarist because it gets girls.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:20, Reply)

An Ode to Swipe
I wandered lonely as a b3tan
O'er forum, board and page
On yonder dale I spied a maiden
Mocking a tard in its cage
"Lo!", thought I, "what mighty jugs!"
"Verily, must I pander"
Sadly she eschewed my hugs,
And sued my arse for slander.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Hahaha so true
It was over when I kicked a puppy and made him wear a Margaret Thatcher mask. But then I did accidentally call his mother's best friend a traitor.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:29, Reply)