My mum was always gutted she didn't make her maiden name my middle name.
So I thought fuck it I'll surprise them all. My old surname meant nothing anyway, my granddad on my dad's side is Spanish and he changed his surname to an English one when he moved over in the 50s cos he was a batty man who was afraid of being persecuted for being forrin. I don't know what difference he thought it'd make, he's so tanned he's basically black and even today I ain't got a fucking clue what he's saying when he talks.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:11, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Aha, I know a way round this.
Simply TALK VERY LOUDLY, POR FAVORR.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)