urggggh
i once had a guy whose idea of fingering was so fucking painful that he made everything seize up in self-defence. proper virgin school-boy technique. in agony i suggested that we move to shagging, but he then couldn't get it in AT ALL. instead of realising what he had done wrong, he demanded a blowie instead.

shudder.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:15, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Bet you gave it too him though

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:17, Reply)

yeah, i was drunk
and polite

but when he repeated all the offences the next morning and declined several offers of a shower, i knew it was time to pick up my lapsed faith and go to confession.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:18, Reply)

See this is why life isn't fair
I'm a chef in the Kitchen, I bring home a decent wage, I've never been violent, I've never shit the bed, I'm clean, I trim my pubes just like it says in cosmo, I exercise regularly and am in good shape. But some shit in bed fingerbanger gets a blowie and I don't!
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:24, Reply)

i'll suck you off

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I can't pay, is that ok?

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:28, Reply)

sure, just wash it first

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:32, Reply)

My ex a had a shirt that said "Ok,but wash it first" on it
She was ace.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:33, Reply)

this was not the bedshitter, this was a much bigger mistake!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:30, Reply)

No, but its another example of how shit people get all the luck

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:31, Reply)

to be fair, this dude has to wake up every morning to the shit mediocrity of himself
i consider that enough punishment really
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:37, Reply)

i bet before you he was with some girl who taught him to do it like that
and she fucken loved it, he's a retard for thinking it would work for every girl

but your a retard for not just showing him how to do it proper
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Yeh, My first sexual partner was a bit crazy in bed and liked all-sorts of weird stuff
I've since discovered that not all women like you to fuck them up the arse in Top Shop changing rooms and cum on their face.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:41, Reply)