I am
currently tapping away on the good old Samsung smartphone, lying in bed at 2:00 am in a fit of insomnia in a remote Australian country town, and yet, I can hear a bunch of drunken deadshits bellowing "I wanna know, ooh aah, will you be my girl".

Is this the universal song of drunken yobs?

Alt: would you fuck Kylie or Danii?
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:27, 77 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I would hack one of Danniiii's fake mams off and gaffer tape it to Kylie's scar-ridden chest
then shit on the pair of them and fuck off down the pub.

Nah they're alright really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:31, Reply)

:O

(quintsy, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:33, Reply)

I really don't know why I posted that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:35, Reply)

I have you on 2.0 so I can’t see what you posted

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:38, Reply)

It's because I'm Asian, isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:47, Reply)

WHAT ARE YOU? WELL KNOCK ME OVER WITHA FEATHER FROM A TURBAN

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:48, Reply)

because it excited you.

( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:38, Reply)

I've got the raging horn now.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:46, Reply)

If only you could reach it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:49, Reply)

Fuck off and die.



I hate you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:50, Reply)

Trying my best to help you
Everyday I die a bit more
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:52, Reply)

Please die completely
And immediately.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:58, Reply)

whats the rush?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:03, Reply)

It's one of the classics of the genre, yes.
Last year whist walking back from the beach in Scarborough, which is a lovely Yorkshire seaside resort, I was stunned and amazed to hear someone belting out the Wurzels' "I've got a Brand New Combine Harvester" from within one of the local pubs.
alt: Kylie, from behind, both holes.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:34, Reply)

Alt: You should be so Lucky, lucky lucky lucky

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:37, Reply)

But I'd Never Stop

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:54, Reply)

Sometimes Local......
I begin to wonder
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:00, Reply)

Jesus!
That is a fucking obscure song to be belting out.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Kylie, then Dannii, both pipes, facials.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:40, Reply)

Right up the BAGPIPEs no doubt?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:41, Reply)

I'd bagpipe Kylie fo sho.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:46, Reply)

Something about TARTon

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:47, Reply)

I'd give her a sporran.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:49, Reply)

I bet you would done KILT her with it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:55, Reply)

Right up the tam-o-shanter

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:59, Reply)

Toss that CABER

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:00, Reply)

Burns night for sure!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:19, Reply)

Gubbed

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:24, Reply)

you have a samsung smartphone?!

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:40, Reply)

freebie from work.
Crap, but does the job.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:42, Reply)

I know you are!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:47, Reply)

?
strange reply. enthusiastic, but strange.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:52, Reply)

You sure are!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:53, Reply)

U R

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:55, Reply)

oh for fucks sake
Now comes the revving of engines and squealing of extended burn-outs.

the nearest copper is miles away.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:41, Reply)

Call Skippy

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:42, Reply)

I think he just got runover.

( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:43, Reply)

What you need son is a pet mud-crab
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAOq99LdsoY
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:45, Reply)

that is quite funny

( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:49, Reply)

Other such songs include
American Pie (there is always one cunt who thinks he knows all the lyrics and fails).
''twas on the good ship Venus
Final Countdown by Europe
Heeeyyyy baby, I want to know (etc)

Living in London I hear these regularly.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:49, Reply)

I've never heard any of those being sung in London.
Jesting aside, not once, ever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:52, Reply)

North London v East London I guess.
Btw - still not heard...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:54, Reply)

And
Roy Chubby Brown's version of "Living Next Door To Alice"

I have been drinking with a sports team most of whom know all the verses of American Pie - it's a surprisingly long song.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:53, Reply)

It's also a terminally shit song.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:53, Reply)

The later verses only make sense after MASSIVE DRUGS, i think?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:55, Reply)

Damn you, localboy.
Too quick for these old fingers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:55, Reply)

Final countdown has to be bellowed
with "do dah do doooo" pursed lip imitation electric keyboard solo.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:55, Reply)

See also 'Living next door to Alice'
Basically, anything with a shouty bit everyone can join in with.

Alt: neither, if that's alright. But if I had to choose an Aussie bloke, then either Hugh Jackman or Chris Hemsworth.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:54, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1757363
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:56, Reply)

Monty speaks the truth.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:57, Reply)

? monty never heard of him

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:57, Reply)

He used to post on here.
He was a bit shit, to be honest.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:59, Reply)

Pervert as well. A right nonce. Particularly sick as he loved disabled black kids.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:00, Reply)

I heard he had to rely on four year old girls to buy his magazines for him.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:05, Reply)

AHHHHH Bunty

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:08, Reply)

I heard he was out voted by a better MOD
and flounced
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:01, Reply)

Shane Warne?
Ha ha ha ha. Good enough for Hugh Grant's ex.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:59, Reply)

oh fuck...
...now I hear "I get knocked down, get up again"
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:57, Reply)

Just drink a lager drink
You'll get over it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:58, Reply)

Then a cider...
Zzzzz fuck it I can't be bothered.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:00, Reply)

seems fucking strange
That Australian country bogans like to sing an old cockney(??) song.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:03, Reply)

FFS.
https://accounts.google.com/ServiceLogin?uilel=3&service=youtube&passive=true&continue=http%3A%2F%2Fm.youtube.com%2Fsignin%3Faction_handle_signin%3Dtrue%26nomobiletemp%3D1%26warned%3D1%26feature%3Dblazerbootstrap%26next%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fm.youtube.com%252Fwatch%253Fv%253DLODkVkpaVQA%2526rdm%253Dmbpn8t3yl%26hl%3Den_GB&hl=en_GB<mpl=mobile
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:05, Reply)

? Link it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:05, Reply)

i dunno
I kind of like all that squiggly stuff.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:07, Reply)

What Abo hair?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:07, Reply)

Ain't nothing gonna keep me down...
Or asleep in your case.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 17:59, Reply)

apart from your height

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:02, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1757357
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:03, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1757380
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:04, Reply)

so is racism bad then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:07, Reply)

YEP seems so

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:09, Reply)

since when?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:10, Reply)

Wait you was talking street bad=good?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:12, Reply)

no, of course not, that would be black talk

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:17, Reply)

Jive talking
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBw25CrUS-o
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:19, Reply)

anyway
Gonna turn the phone off...good night all. And as I'm 10 hours ahead of you all and have lived through Friday night, whilst you have yet to do so, I can predict that you will all meet a tall dark stranger, find true love, come into money and discover the true meaning of life.



Or maybe have another dull Friday night in front of the telly.
( Ken Oath, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:15, Reply)

Or this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKzF9l1UMXQ
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 18:17, Reply)