I just sent this to a big load of pizza facebook groups.
Dear Pizza Outlet.

Tonight I desire a pizza and a side, no drink, no desert, maybe some dips. I like variety and a ratio of 1 meat to 3 vegetables. I am a fan of bespoke bases and sauces. I do not like fish on my pizza.

It is with great pleasure that I invite you into an epic competition with your leading competitors in order to ply for my custom tonight. During these economic times I believe you shall appreciate such a thing.

Please list in reply to this why you believe that I should choose you in order to facilitate the absence of hunger, and the winner shall be chosen at 19:00 tonight. There is only one of me, so volume based special offers would not be as advantagous as it would seem.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing your sales pitch.

- Pauly Pops.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:21, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

i hope every single one of them calls you a prick

(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Pizza doesn't sound right, Peetsa Petesah. Pizza deffo isn't how its spelt.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

it's italian, they love 'z's

(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Damn straight, lazy cunts.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

ha!

(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

BECAUSE THEY ARE LAZY LOL!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

oh monty :(

(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:26, Reply)

I'm such an 'epic fail'*!!!


*'epic fail' is an internet meme!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Have you downloaded this weeks US The Office ? 'cus they have a thing on Epic Fail.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:32, Reply)

I have the 'box set' pre-ordered!!!!
I love 'box sets' of 'cult US shows' with hour long episodes. They're great!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Why do I get the impression you're fibbing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:38, Reply)

I for one have absolutely no idea.
I'M DOING A 'SMILEY FACE THAT IS WINKING' THING TO INDICATE THAT I'M BEING A BIT OF A CARD, HERE.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Btw anyone who can be arsed to strike this through is a cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:43, Reply)

i +a

teeheeheehee
(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 17:02, Reply)

i was having a conversation last night with a girl who used
'epic fail' three times in one sentence, relating to how she'd made a couple of minor faux pas during an exam.

I think it's her parent's who made the epic fail
(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Should've punched her in the tits.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:34, Reply)

she barely had any
:(
(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:38, Reply)

All the more reason to punch them then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:41, Reply)

if i see her again i'll thump her right in the nips

(quintsy, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 17:02, Reply)

I wonder how many responses you get.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Yup, I hope I get a good one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:39, Reply)