send her one of your fingers in the post
i can't think of anything more romantic than this
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:38, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

About 10 years ago I put an address label and a first class stamp on a Snickers
and it arrived at my flat (in very good condition) in two days. I was very impressed.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:40, Reply)

So what are you saying? I should stick a stamp and write my address on one of my fingers?
Should I do this before or after I cut it off?
( Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:43, Reply)

I'm just saying that you could save yourself a fortune in envelopes

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Don't cut it off at all, just hand yourself into the post office.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I've just murdered my wife, shes in the boot I've come to hand myself in.
"It's single queuing love, you'll have to go back round through the barriers"
( Peej, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:49, Reply)

"I'm just going to pop you on hold"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:52, Reply)

In fairness, one of the opposition players came out with a pretty left-field comeback in that vein on Sunday
We have a mouthy kid that plays for us and eventually the guy marking him came out with "if you don't fucking shut up I'm going to murder you and put the body in my boot"

Textbook.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 11:57, Reply)