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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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A kid he knows has had an, ah, accident where they, ah accidentally tore their anus.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:51, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Ha ha

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)
AHH THE OLD 'HE WAS JUST CLIMBING OVER A FENCE AND SLIPPED ONTO THE SPIKE' SWITCHEROO PAEDO EXCUSE STORY
TEXTBOOK
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)
The thing is, the poor sod's parents are back from holiday on Monday so this needs sorting pronto to avoid any awkward questions.
And to ensure 'Uncle Bart' gets to look after him again next year.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)
NO PRESSURE THERE BARTLEBY

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)
'I HAVEN'T GOT TIME TO LOOK UP THESE TERMS - WILL HIS ARSE STILL BE BLEEDING ON MONDAY OR NOT?'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 11:10, Reply)

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