I dunno, let me text my mate Martin Amis and ask him how much he's worth.
And it says a lot about you that you assess the value of literature only with reference to commercial transactions.

How crass.

How many times has Jilly Cooper won the Booker prize?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 10:37, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

you don't produce anything like that
you're all high end pretension - all fart and no poo.

sure, if I could choose, i'd love to write booker contending stuff, but that's simply not my style. I can write light, funny, slightly sad/cutting things in a certain style that got me a distinction in my main pieces from oxford and 5 agents handing me their cards because it was not as clever or beautiful as the girl who wrote a poetic novel - but they knew they could sell mine, whereas nobody would read hers. if I ever manage to get the time to write anything publishable, it won't be great literature, it will be froth. but it will make people laugh, and it will pay the rent. i'd be very happy with that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Oxford Brookes.
And...rent? How vulgar.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 10:45, Reply)

oxford brookes don't even offer that course
but if they did, you sure as hell wouldn't get in
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 11:00, Reply)

haha!
Upset!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 11:01, Reply)

speak for yourself
but don't use ten long words where one will do, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 11:02, Reply)

Yeah, like you know Martin Amis.
Martin's the newsagent is a bit posh for you.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 10:56, Reply)