You won't fucking die you oaf
I drink heavily and have somehow become a PROMINENT LOCAL BUSINESSMAN. That's what it says in the local rag anyway.

Before you go to bed - too late for that now - pint of orange juice.

Morning - fruit, another pint of orange and a bar of dark chocolate - fast sugar rush.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:25, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Alright Cranley

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:26, Reply)

Costed me £105 for a quote
Tax deductible - describe it as advertising.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:37, Reply)

This relies on me being sober enough to get orange juice from the fridge.
Instead what I seem to have done is attempt to make toast and fall asleep at the top of the stairs in nothing but my socks and sunglasses. That are broke..
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:30, Reply)

That's a snag. I just do it automatically now
Sunglasses are another matter.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:35, Reply)

Maybe I'll try next time.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:36, Reply)

Those little plastic pots of fruit in the supermarket
Usually near the entrance.

They are your friend too.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:43, Reply)