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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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We're composing little ditties... and I thought I'd share my effort with you lot.
Suggestions?
Trouble in cubicle 2
There’s trouble in cubicle 2
I really don’t know what I’m going to do
I went in for some private time
Which has lead me to compose this rhyme
I’m sat here with trousers round ankles
A situation which frankly quite rankles
Some may find my predicament quite droll
Because I’ve just realised- there’s no loo-roll!
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 14:35, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
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There was a young bloke called piston
Who stalked young men for a fistin'
The fuzz nabbed his hard drive
In prison he was eaten alive
And the inmates use him to I'M BUSTING FOR A piss on.
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 14:41, Reply)
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I tried what you suggested and it's still marked as something I liked. Any more ideas?
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)
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Away in a manger on somebody's lawn
the 40 watt Jesus shines through until dawn.
The soft glowing Santa looked down where he lay
the 40 watt Jesus aglow in the hay.
Away in a manger in somebody's shed
the 40 watt Jesus still rests his glass head
The tinfoil stars and the plastic reindeer
keep watch over Jesus the rest of the year.
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 14:45, Reply)
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Back in the 80s I worked in a place that had an eight pen plotter, the kind that used what was essentially a drafting pen. If we wanted to do color plots (which we did often) we had to clean out the pens and fill them with the various inks.
One thing I noticed was that the blue ink stained my fingers terribly. Red, yellow, green, even black washed right off- but the blue stayed no matter how I scrubbed, making my fingers look cold.
One day I was doing this task and had filled all of the pens without spilling ink, and was quite pleased with myself. The final one was the blue pen- and, of course, an air bubble caused it to splatter all over my left hand. I cursed and cleaned up the mess. Murphy's law, of course- if it was going to happen, it had to be the blue pen.
So in my best Harry Connick Jr. voice I sang:
It had to be blue
It had to be blue
I monkeyed around
got 'em all down
except for the blue.
I thought I was through
except for the blue
but then it did drip
on my fingertips
What could I do?
Some colors I've seen
like yellow and green
don't make a mess
causing distress
quite like the blue.
But nothing else splattered or spilled
with all these pend I had to fill
it had to be blue
miserable blue
it had to be blue...
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)
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We may have a latter-day Al Yankovich on our hands here...
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 14:57, Reply)
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Must be sang with Jamaican accent.
I love my Jamaican lager beer
It makes me smile from ear to ear
It makes me want to dance all night
But if I drink too much
It makes me want to fight.
This was written during my Red Stripe phase a long time ago.
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
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Do you want to see my Hermaphra-cock-minge?
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 15:05, Reply)
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whose brain was autistic and twisty
de diddle de da
de diddle de da
and he fell asleep with his lad inside a lady's front bottom
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)
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It'd make my hole weak.
Sorry that was too easy.
( , Mon 6 Oct 2008, 15:22, Reply)
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