an powem
Herein lies the story of Hammy the Horny Hamster.

A tragedy of eric [sic] proportions by sophocles*, translated by Boss Keloid and happylittletulip.





*not by sophocles. not even a little bit
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 16:58, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

part one
Hammy the horny hamster
Had an enormous horn
It was the biggest erection
He'd had since he'd been born
Hammy the horny hamster
engorged to the point of pain
the poor little creature wondered
"Would it ever go down again?"
Hammy thought perhaps a run
Would ease some of the pressure
But in the spokes he got all twisted
Like a work by M C Escher.
Miss Hammy had waited patiently
But his predicament he saw
And fucked off with his brother
that filthy rodent whore!
Hammy the horny hamster
His troubles ne'er did end
Cos although his pain subsided
and his cock did mend;
His lady hammy's absence
Made his heart grow fonder
and despite his thoughts of uglies
made his hard grow longer!
And so his stiffy stayed rigid
Hammy felt like such a fool
The day he was arrested
Outside the hamster school
In chains with constant hardon
Still protruding from his fur
He had to put his name down
On the sex pest register!
Hammy was put before the jury
Tried only for his crimes of passion
But to his shame and bounding fury
They sent him down in cruel fashion
Banged up with vinnie the evil chinchilla
Obviously gay and a fan of the ‘villa…


To be continued…
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 17:01, Reply)

*glees*
Brilliant *claps*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 17:06, Reply)

*Bows to your talent*
*jealouses*
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 17:19, Reply)

why thank you kind ladies
*blushes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 17:51, Reply)

Superb stuff
*applauds*
( Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 17:52, Reply)

Fantastic!
Wonderful

shouldn't the line "But his predicament he saw" be "But his predicament she saw"?
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 21 Oct 2008, 18:16, Reply)

And so b3ta now becomes the home of doggerel
as well as dogging.

Woo!

Most excellent.

:D
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 19:39, Reply)

that made me lol
The sex pest register

applauds loudly
(Stringy, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 20:00, Reply)

Bravo!
*laughs*
*applauds*
( wanderlust, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:54, Reply)