well
i spent in total 4 hours today dealing with fucking arab pedants trying to finalise the simple purchase of a vehicle.

no im not being racist - they were actual pedants. the 24 forms and 100 or so signatures today were merely the end result of a solid month's faxing, emailing and delivering in person multiple copies of my: drivers licence, (UK & UAE) passport, visa, salary certificate, bank statements, employment details: contract of employment, employers address, nature of business, position in company, sponsors letter, trade licence.

AND the name and mobile number of 'a friend' in the UAE - i shit you not. a fucking 'friend'. Note 'mobile number' no one i know has a home landline. there are also (refreshingly you might) say no letterboxes on the doors of the extortionately priced flats (25K a year for a modest 2 bed job up a highrise) as there are no postal addresses. PO boxes only thank you, we are medieval.

not to mention multiple visits to various disparate locations of offices, showrooms government departments etc. during which time i have driven over 150 miles on a road network in which the layout changes almost daily and 100mph tailgaiting is genuinely considered normal - the slightly impatient ones undertake you at 130mph on the hard shoulder - as do the police.

all in the pursuit of one fucking vehicle purchase

i had a boiled sweet for lunch then paid 50 quid for a crap meal this evening just so i could have a cheap bottle of plonk with it to celebrate.

naturally i still don't actually have the car - i'm assured it we be delivered tomorrow, or maybe the next day, Insha'Allah!

oh and i have to pay the taxi fare back for the delivery bloke

oh and when i got my UAE licence i was also given application forms for: a UAE drivers licence - yeah i know? Plus an application for a certificate detailing the contents of my licence - the contents being printed on the licence. Also a 'to whom it may concern' certificate application form, this, and i quote is a certificate to prove 'the non existence of a driving licence' how very fucking existential!

NEVER FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT THE UK AGAIN - it is a bureaucracy free oasis of calm, restraint, logic, manners and simplicity.

that is all

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 19:58, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Remember that stress is the number one killer of Scotsmen who work in marketing.
I think that these things will be of less concern once your family have joined you over there.

Breath deeply aaaaaaaaaaand relax.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 21:38, Reply)

Japan
is very similar :(
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 7:33, Reply)

Why
would anyone bother, can't you buy a second hand car and not bother with all the bureaucracy? Or do they cut your hands off for that?
(dchurch bah, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:36, Reply)

So
is the UAE shit? I've only ever been in transit, and at night. The airports lovely but might be on the moon for all I know, never been there in daylight and Emirates could divert via space, how would I know.

One genuine question though, the arabs I've seen at the airport in full 'garb' - their big white sheety things - they're always utterly pristinely whte and clean (the clothes, not the arabs, although theyre obviously clean as well) How DO they stay that way? I'm trying to ask in a voice that doesnt make me sound like a washing powder advert.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 11:32, Reply)

Washing powder.
Obviously.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 13:54, Reply)

@ IHROOC
there are two answers to that

1. polyester

2. the lazy cunts never do enough moving around to get dirty
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 15:13, Reply)