Re: My DVLA letter
I once applied for a job, and this (as far as I can tell) was the stock "Thanks for applying, if we don't give you an interview, we won't let you know"
****

Septic Tank 2004

Beloved Hopeful

Group Boss / HARDEN Bowels

Hardly any gratitude for penetrating about the stake of Association Minion/Mr Frosty Teashop at Sour-tasting Aversion School and I have given up all hope that you will notice the fugitive in this gang that thwarts you by smearing you on Panorama.

Sour-tasting Poverty is a forlorn neglected academy with a not inconsiderable riotous approach and a tremendously depressing man and some novices.

I stare offensively at your conduct record. The concluding instance for compliance is 13 August 2004. Ignore this at your peril.

We do not tick off claimants for any jobs or else we have screeched at them for interrogation, if we do not have a word with you, please suffer. You have not been exultant in your treatment and you must tolerate my displeasure at your fascination with the postman.

Yours dangerously

Relentless Suffering
(Headteacher)
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 13:21, Reply)