hot bovril and gravel
is what I would like to throw at him. I despise the man. He was that wanker John Gorman's flatmate wasn't he? Imagine the awful fucking contrived nonsense the two of them got up to in that flat. I bet they wept solid salt fucking tears when they heard of 'Around Ireland with a Fridge'.


Imagine the cunts. Imagine them! Designer Denim, apple macs and wacky ideas which are oh so crazy they might just work. I would like to write a look-how-zany-and- lighthearted -I -am-yet-at-the-same-time-serious book about how I plan to ruin that cunt's life. The fucking cunt, I HATE him so MUCH. The worst kind of awful, shit cunts. I can imagine their music collection and I hate it, I can imagine their film collection, and I hate it, and I can imagine that they iron their jeans and shit T shirts with retro characters on or adverts for fictitious garages and I HATE THEM TOO. John Gorman did that book about sticking it to the little man, didn't he? He crossed america without drinking coca cola or eating anything a multinational produced (ooh you grown up student, you're mad') and then it was fucking published by those cunts Bertlesmen?

Here are some ideas for you John, if you're watching YOU CUNT

John and Danny see how much kiddie porn they can download and then subsequently have to say 'Yes' to everyone in Cell Block D
John and Danny see if they can spend a week underwater chained to the corpse of a donkey in shark infested water with only one set of faulty breathing apparatus
John and Danny go from Albania to Zimbabwe (on a fucking tandem, why not?_, trying to contract a disease from A-Z in each country they pass through.
John and Danny's wives leave them, their identity is stolen, the public realises what cunts they are and they end up sleeping under a bridge for twenty years, with only the throbbing heat of danny wallace's great fat belly burning from the meths through the -not-so-ironic-now TShirts, to warm them for twenty years, untlil it is revealed it is a joke and they can write their book. Alas, by this time, the publishing industry has collapsed as has the entire western world, so they have to publish their humours tone and have it approved by the Taliban who have come to power.

The CUNTS
John and Danny's
(sirolimus, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:35, Reply)