It's written eloquently enough
but it's not the quality of the writing that makes me feel a bit strange! Mind bleach might be needed over here as well...

Hi fuzzy - long time no see, got the flu? How's the new job going?

& hi Mrs Bin, not teaching today?

Kaol - sharp implements sound like the answer, or bare hands if you're feeling REALLY pissed off. Tell her she can have exceptionally speedy service or her every whim pandered to, but only one or the other. Spray paint this on her still warm corpse and hang it from your office window so your other clients get the message.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 10:41, Reply)