Don't try this at home!
Last night I had a splendid evening getting slowly twatted in one of Sheffield's less salubrious establishments. Many pints of Mulled ale, Rockin' Robin & many other pints of beers which names presently escape me.

I pottered off home and after a nip of scotch to keep out the cold, admitted that sobriety was no longer my bedfellow and hit the hay. I awoke to the feeling that something was seriously wrong and then suffered that sinking feeling ............ I realised that I was stood in the corner of our bedroom, cock in hand and was pissing all over the plugged in stereo which was faithfully playing the World Service.

I had even lifed the lid to expose the CD player (possibly thinking it was the bog seat) and my missus slept soundly through the whole sorry affair.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 10:40, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*cackle*
!

I'm glad I've got at least SOME sense when I'm pissed. I've managed to get to 33 without having toileted anywhere I shouldn't have.

You're lucky you didn't get a shock... other than that of what you woke up to :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 11:02, Reply)

I know - VERY lucky!
This realisation had led to a two fold reluctance to dealing with the stereo. Firstly there's the chance I may get a shock and secondly it's a bit pissy :(
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 11:09, Reply)

You won't get shocked
from peeing on electricals. A stream of urine doesn't form a constant stream, just lots of little droplets thus stopping current from passing up it into your gaping japs-eye.

Unless, of course, you let the puddle creep up to your bare feet.

This was a public service announcement.
( Kroney, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 11:15, Reply)

Now I hope you did that right thing and blamed your missus for sleep-pissing?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 11:18, Reply)

No can do Mime
I have form for this sort of thing. I have yet to break the news to her but I think that the game will be up when I come down stairs gingerly holding a piss sodden stereo.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 11:21, Reply)

"I come down stairs gingerly holding a piss sodden stereo"
is a phrase that needs to be used MUCH more often.

It's been giving me the giggles for five minutes now.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 4 Jan 2009, 2:14, Reply)

I've a mate
that pissed on his girlfriends parents and woke them up, while drunken sleepwalking.
(knackerz is skinning up, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 8:30, Reply)

Cheers guys
I related the tale to two close friends and they hooted with laughter at my stupidity but at least I didn't piss on someone's folks.

While the phrase is worthy of wider use TRL I suspect that number of situations it can be applied to are slim.

I am convinced that the bin men will give it a cursory examination when they collect next week to see if it's worth swiping ..... Little do they realise it's been marinated in my piss :)
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 15:17, Reply)